It’s long been suspected in the red half of Merseyside that Spurs scouts have been watching Liverpool scouts for years, but the truth runs far far deeper than anyone has previously thought. A former Tottenham scout has revealed the truth that will SHOCK Liverpool fans and no doubt have them tweet ‘Get your own Scouts’ […]
The TRUTH behind Spurs and Liverpool Scouts
It’s long been suspected in the red half of Merseyside that Spurs scouts have been watching Liverpool scouts for years, but the truth runs far far deeper than anyone has previously thought.
A former Tottenham scout has revealed the truth that will SHOCK Liverpool fans and no doubt have them tweet ‘Get your own Scouts’ more than ever before.
“It started when we were at a Fulham match” our inside source told us. “I was sat next to a scout from Liverpool, one of their top boys. I asked who he was watching. He asked me who I was watching. I said ‘No, you first’, but he was having none of it and said ‘No, you first’. So I went back to him and said ‘No, you tell me first, I promise I will tell you after, please?’ This went on for most of the first half”
“At half time the Liverpool fella went to get a Bovril, but left his clipboard. I’m not proud of myself for what I did, but I had to look. On the sheet of A4 it just said ‘DEMPSEY’. It was even underlined. At this point I knew. I worked out why he was there”
“I’d never heard of Dempsey. Apparently he had been playing at Fulham for a while, but he’d slipped under our radar. I quickly got on the blower to Levy and told him about this Clint fella and we agreed that we should make him our #1… And we had to act quick, before the whole world heard about this Clint Dempsey”
But it wasn’t just a sneaky look at a clipboard. A young IT whizz was employed by Tottenham scouts to hack Liverpool computers and find out their targets.
“Liverpool had been buying unknown gems for years and we wanted part of it.”
“I was round a mates house and I saw his son sat in front of a computer with lists of literally thousands and thousands of footballers – all right there in front of him! It had all of this information – how many goals they had scored, how injury prone and how loyal they were, even if any previous injuries were Red Inj or Orange Inj… everything we could ever wish to know! This database was like gold to us!”
“I asked him, quietly, if he could find out who Liverpool were scouting and he leant forward, rolled his eyes, took a deep breath, and muttered ‘yes’.”
“Within minutes I had discovered that Liverpool were after somebody called David Villa. I’d never heard of him, but after a few clicks of a mouse the spotty 14 year old discovered that apparently this David bloke had won a World Cup! Well, as you can imagine, I knew he was the one.”
“I quietly asked the lads to do some more research and we discovered he’d been playing for some village team in Spain, Barcelona or something”.
“We’ve sent out a few feelers and hope to get him before Liverpool do. Our scouting network is now like a team of highly trained ninjas. If a Liverpool scout even breathes, we know about it”.
Whether Liverpool or Tottenham scouts win this war will remain to be seen, but whatever happens Liverpool fans are not pleased and a summer of tweeting ‘Get Your Own Scouts’ awaits.
[author name=”Sibs” avatar=”https://si0.twimg.com/profile_images/2528742498/04fbe7bc-075c-46d4-bd96-1e71eaa2cc09.png” twitter=”SibsTHFC” tag=”Sibs[/linequote]
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26 Comments
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11/06/2013 @ 10:19 am
Lol!
Our club has so many talented staff. Players, AVB, back room staff, and a must for every club: agents train in the black arts. COYS(mi5 aka N17)
11/06/2013 @ 10:20 am
What a load of bollocks , we had never heard of Dempsey , he was the fans favourite at Fulham for 3 years
11/06/2013 @ 10:53 am
How did him saying he’d never heard of Villa or ‘the small village in Spain, Barcelona’ not confirm this was satire bordering on sarcasm!?
For anyone still confused… the moral of the story is, we are not exactly battling over these unknown players, it’s players everyone knows about, it just so happens that we are looking for the same level of player as them these days so we will get linked with the same players. I think the Scousers biggest mistake in all this is believing every link reported in the paper is true… because they are linked with 50 players and we are linked with 50 players there is going to be some cross over – they then believe they saw them first and they are 100% really interested… because ‘The Sun’ said so!
11/06/2013 @ 10:23 am
It’s a joke Bawsa.
Seriously though, you really do need to get your own scouts!
11/06/2013 @ 10:24 am
Finally. I was beginning to think I was the only one was had noticed how bitter Arsenal and Liverpool fans had become these last few years. Liverpool fans certainly have short memories, since we were ‘linked’ first with Eriksen, Damiao, Alderweireld, Sturridge, Carroll, Suarez, Bellamy, Joe Cole. Oh, but we’re forever stealing their targets. What absolute nonsense. As if agents aren’t going to sound several clubs out about their men. And as if clubs themselves aren’t going to sound other clubs out about a possible bidding war.
11/06/2013 @ 10:34 am
And I’ve just seen them linked with Rakitic, a player we were reportedly after two years ago. Oh, the irony.
11/06/2013 @ 2:01 pm
You do realise he was a youth prospect at Liverpool and you part exchanged him for Konchesky?
11/06/2013 @ 10:56 am
Hey! we can take a joke lads, competing clubs will offer the best deal to the selling club and player and at the end of the day the player will choose, ,we know you have some excellent players and are doing fairly well at the moment,( not as well as you like to think) but better than us, i believe that will change (along with all LFC fans) we are tired of your endless taunts of being history fc etc. (at least we have a history, a BIG history) you’re a bigger club than us.. ha! yeah right! so go ahead have your fun, it won’t last!!!
11/06/2013 @ 11:03 am
The problem with people like you is you hear what you want to hear. Do you really think Spurs fans think we are a bigger club than Liverpool? Just because some muppet said that to you once doesn’t mean we, as a whole, believe that. Anyway, we are currently better than you though, and it’s been 3 years (I think) since you finished above us so… ner ner na ner ner
11/06/2013 @ 10:59 am
That there are people who exist on the internet who can’t tell this is a joke is something I can’t quite get my head around- I suppose it’s to be expected. Anyway cheers Sibs, I enjoyed that read, gonna google this Villa fella.
11/06/2013 @ 11:05 am
Apparently it’s a club in the midlands not a footballer? can anyone shed some light on this enigma of the footballing world!? :)
11/06/2013 @ 5:19 pm
I’m afraid I can’t.
I Googled ‘Barcelona’ and ‘Villa’ and all I found out is, it has 3 bedrooms and it’s own pool…which is quite nice I suppose.
11/06/2013 @ 11:41 am
If liverpool are the big club that they say they are surely these players would choose the reds over spurs?.Guess they worked out Tottenham is the way forward.
11/06/2013 @ 12:10 pm
Lets face it players don’t go to Spurs for the history or the aura of the club. You are just fortunate that you are situation in London and thats the only reason. You have no history, you have no romance, you don’t win things and your stadium is a crock of crap so what else could it be?
11/06/2013 @ 12:24 pm
this is the stupidest thing I’ve ever read on the internet. are you 13 years old by any chance?
11/06/2013 @ 12:33 pm
“your stadium is a crock of crap” – that’s a bit rich; I thought it was the Kop that nearly collapsed into a sewer a few years back :-)
11/06/2013 @ 1:35 pm
Typical bindipper!!
What would he know anyway?
11/06/2013 @ 2:57 pm
“fortunate that you are situation in London”
So basically we look like Rambo with his shirt off?
11/06/2013 @ 12:18 pm
hahaha great piece man. love the “no you tell me first” bit. classic
11/06/2013 @ 12:51 pm
No history? Spurs were the first club to win Div 2 and Div 1 in the following season. The first bristish teanm to win a European cup. The first to win the double. We won the FA cup as a non-league side. The history of football started long before LFC started winning things
11/06/2013 @ 3:26 pm
Celtic was the first British team to win a European cup. Man U were the second.
11/06/2013 @ 3:45 pm
Wrong, try again.
Tottenham won the UEFA Cup Winners’ Cup in 1963, crushing Atletico Madrid 5-1.
Celtic come in second with the European Cup in 1967, beating Inter 2-1
Manchester United come in third with the European Cup in 1968, beating Benfica 4-1.
Don’t guess, next time come with factual information.
11/06/2013 @ 3:47 pm
I realize, which you may not have, that there is a difference between “a” European cup and “The” European Cup.
11/06/2013 @ 1:33 pm
Yes we have a scouting system: its called Football manager and as FM2014 isn’t out yet we are buggered until it is, hence the late rush.
I fond it funny that Levy gives the other clubs about 2 months squad start then sacks managers.
AVB and Harry have performed miracles with truncated squads.
11/06/2013 @ 2:15 pm
This article is just rubbish. Surely if we had such a great insight into Liverpool’s scouting network we would have outbid them for Carroll and Downing at least, wouldn’t we, wouldn’t we?
01/07/2013 @ 3:50 pm
Lol
Do Liverpool fans actually know who their head scout is?
What Liverpool fans don’t seem to realise is that their head scout was former Tottenham youth scout Mel Johnson.
Their current under 21 manager was our youth coach Alex Ingelthorpe, Their previous director of football was employed by us first.
They steal our current youth coaches and scouts and employ our former staff and yet we are the ones stealing their targets. The facts say otherwise.