Yesterday's Guardian...
BABY, I COMPARE YOU TO A DISS FROM A ROSE …
The Fiver loves Spurs. They give hope to habitual losers around the world that, one day, they too might finish second. In our case, they allow us to dream that one day the phrase “Lads, it’s The Fiver” will be met with something other than a weary sigh or the confused question: “Is that thing still going? I thought they put it out of its misery years ago.” In addition to that, Spurs are an antidote to the tedious excess of modern football and modern society. Their low-key, financially responsible excellence makes them the most admirable club in the country. That’s one interpretation, anyway. The other is that SPURS GOTTA BUY SOMEONE QUICKSMART BECAUSE DANNY WANTS A NEW TOY TO PLAY WITH.
Yes, Danny Rose, Spurs’ knacked left-back, has only gone and opened his mouth without checking what was going to fall out. In an interview with the Sun, Rose announced that he wants more money, he wants Spurs to spend more money, he wants Spurs to go back in time and not sell Kyle Walker, and he wants to play up north before he retires. “I am not saying buy 10 players, I’d love to see two or three – and not players you have to Google and say, ‘Who’s that?’ I mean well-known players,” parped the world-renowned left-back.
The whole point of Spurs is that they built a brilliant team by developing relative unknowns like Dele Alli, Eric Dier and, yep, Danny Rose. “Time is running out and I do want to win trophies. One thing is for sure – I know my worth and I will make sure I get what I am worth,” he continued, making possibly the least chilling threat since Ken Barlow offered to sort out Mike Baldwin. “I am not playing as well as I have done not to get paid what I think I am worth. As with everyone else in my team, in my opinion, I am worth more than I am getting.”
Rose is a bloody good left-back. He is not, however, the second coming of Roberto Carlos and there are many who will feel he has just broken the talk:walkometer. Maybe he is feral with the lack of football. But if he pulled this stunt in a 1970s dressing-room, he’d have received a lit fag in the eye faster than he could say “taken out of context”. Mind, The Fiver feels a bit of sympathy for him. We moan when players say nothing and then moan even more when they are honest. A lot of what Rose said was fair enough – about Spurs’ squad depth, for example, and wanting to play up north before he retires to see more of his mum. But the arrogant, indiscreet manner in which he did so was not exactly conducive to dressing-room bonhomie, and some of his other comments veered between better-left-unsaid and WILL YOU PLEASE SHUT UP JUST SHUT UP RIGHT NOW PLEASE SHUT UP. In the parlance of our time, he’s had a right Trump.
BABY, I COMPARE YOU TO A DISS FROM A ROSE …
The Fiver loves Spurs. They give hope to habitual losers around the world that, one day, they too might finish second. In our case, they allow us to dream that one day the phrase “Lads, it’s The Fiver” will be met with something other than a weary sigh or the confused question: “Is that thing still going? I thought they put it out of its misery years ago.” In addition to that, Spurs are an antidote to the tedious excess of modern football and modern society. Their low-key, financially responsible excellence makes them the most admirable club in the country. That’s one interpretation, anyway. The other is that SPURS GOTTA BUY SOMEONE QUICKSMART BECAUSE DANNY WANTS A NEW TOY TO PLAY WITH.
Yes, Danny Rose, Spurs’ knacked left-back, has only gone and opened his mouth without checking what was going to fall out. In an interview with the Sun, Rose announced that he wants more money, he wants Spurs to spend more money, he wants Spurs to go back in time and not sell Kyle Walker, and he wants to play up north before he retires. “I am not saying buy 10 players, I’d love to see two or three – and not players you have to Google and say, ‘Who’s that?’ I mean well-known players,” parped the world-renowned left-back.
The whole point of Spurs is that they built a brilliant team by developing relative unknowns like Dele Alli, Eric Dier and, yep, Danny Rose. “Time is running out and I do want to win trophies. One thing is for sure – I know my worth and I will make sure I get what I am worth,” he continued, making possibly the least chilling threat since Ken Barlow offered to sort out Mike Baldwin. “I am not playing as well as I have done not to get paid what I think I am worth. As with everyone else in my team, in my opinion, I am worth more than I am getting.”
Rose is a bloody good left-back. He is not, however, the second coming of Roberto Carlos and there are many who will feel he has just broken the talk:walkometer. Maybe he is feral with the lack of football. But if he pulled this stunt in a 1970s dressing-room, he’d have received a lit fag in the eye faster than he could say “taken out of context”. Mind, The Fiver feels a bit of sympathy for him. We moan when players say nothing and then moan even more when they are honest. A lot of what Rose said was fair enough – about Spurs’ squad depth, for example, and wanting to play up north before he retires to see more of his mum. But the arrogant, indiscreet manner in which he did so was not exactly conducive to dressing-room bonhomie, and some of his other comments veered between better-left-unsaid and WILL YOU PLEASE SHUT UP JUST SHUT UP RIGHT NOW PLEASE SHUT UP. In the parlance of our time, he’s had a right Trump.
ochfacepalm:
