Cheese & Cucumber Sandwichgate

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Briehave yourselves. I'm in a pickle here and you're not exactly being extra mature, are you?

What did the cheese say when it looked in the mirror?
 
It's also known as 'French cheese'. It dribbles out of your sandwich, falls on your jeans and smells like a tart's arsehole.
You want to get better female company pal.

As a side, I read somewhere once that the UK is actually no.1 for number of (varieties) of cheese produced, not the Frogs as most people think. Beat them at that as well then
 
I've only just seen the signs that've been staring me in the face for weeks.

Sandwich gets into stadium - we win 3-1.
Sandwich gets confiscated - we lose 0-1.

The sandwich MUST GET THROUGH.
 
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