Castration
The one thing we've been able to say about this - Pochettino's - Spurs side is that, even when we've bumbled about, been a bit inept, it's not lacked for bollocks.
Over the last two years we've seen Poch's recruitment decrease the IQ of this team, his selections, choices and treatment of players has weakened it's heart, but what I saw today completed the trifecta, our fucking bollocks have gone.
At the start of last season, I said Poch needs to bollock up and find that formula that led to his success initially. He shipped out the so called "experienced" wankers, brought in young blood from the academy and invigorated this team. The likes of Mason and Bentaleb weren't world class, Kane wasn't then either, they were all just kids with no fear and a hunger to prove themselves, but they shook the dressing room, wankers that had got too comfortable couldn't coast anymore, the message was clear, work for the group or fuck off.
Somewhere along the way, Poch has allowed that message to become water down, and watered down, until what was once 70% proof moonshine is now flat as fucking Watneys party 7 that was opened last Christmas.
The signs were there in 17/18. But the start of 18/19 really set alarm bells ringing. Many were lauding our "best ever" start, but a few of us were seeing very worrying signs - results for some of us were telling lies, and not little white ones, performances were not good, and we were outscoring those performances and the metrics were confirming this - I remember having a discussion with several people on here where I said we will not be able to continue to outscore these performance metrics over the season - and many of the anti-stat "proper football wankers" would not have it. In 2019 our results have reflected what our performances were telling us in 2018. We are fucking atrocious. We haven't won away since January 1st. Our form has been bordering that of a relegation team, matching performances. The CL run papered over massive cracks. Even in that we barely got out of the group then lost 3 of the last 5 games.
I really hoped Tuesday would be some kind of wake up call for Pochettino. What we need, what we have needed for two years is re-energising. I wanted to see sweeping changes today. I wanted the very weary looking Alderweireld resting, I wanted to see the youthful exuberance of the likes of KWP, Skipp etc, maybe even Parrott on the bench, I wanted to see some young minds out there that hadn't become stale and fucking infected by the lethargy that's become endemic in this team. That would listen to Poch's message, whatever the fuck it is these days, and would run their bollocks off, hungry to still make it. I wanted to see a change of fucking format, some fresh new tactics to liven us up and get people thinking about what they are doing, maximising the players we have and mitigated the flaws that come with them.
We needed Red Bull, instead Poch reached for that fucking Party 7 he'd had in the back of the cupboard, we got CM2 (4231) with Dier as a CM - a fucking experiment that was failure two years ago, in fact it was a failure four years ago as we failed to finish above Leicester and a crippled Woolwich. Why not at least reach for dented can of Stella/Wanyama that was proven to be an upgrade on Dier three years ago.
As far as right back goes, what does the brave promoter of youth do? Puts a 30yo fuck nugget there who not only can't play football, but is a fucking bottler too, hides from the fucking ball, ambles about, doesn't close down properly, when he does get near anyone he fucking falls into them.
KWP should ask for his contract to be ripped up. His career's been annihilated by Pochettino, He's seen his position in the pecking order first fall behind the only right back with a brain smaller than Kyle Walker's in Europe, then behind a CB who does a mean impression of Bunjevcivic, another CB who does a really poor impression of a RB and finally now the ignominy of being behind Frankenstein's brother from another mother.
KWP and Skipp may not be the long term solutions, just as Mason and Bentaleb weren't (though fuck me we'd be better now with them in midfield than Sissoko and Dier) but this continual believing that he will get a different outcome from the same repetitive choices is the definition of an insanity that we are all having to live.
Any of us that have watched Ndombele know you are not going to get the best out of him in a CM2. Why doesn't a man who's paid 8m to do, you know...football...know this?
Our shape shifted, as it often does when it is wrong to start with, from 4231 to 4312 to 442 and in the end the players looked as baffled by the constant morphing as we were. We ended up playing 3412, which was as ineffectual as all the other formations we tried.
People were lauding a great defensive display last week with 10 men. It wasn't. People were saying what a great job Sissoko did as RB. He didn't. we conceded something like 20 crosses last week, and the majority were allowed to come in from the right. And this inability to prevent teams getting "at" us has become a disease that's spread through the whole team. Kane and Son are fucking useless, the third (or fourth - hard to remember which) goal on Tuesday came from Kane and Alli just standing around letting defenders pick passes out of defence, today was the same, Dier and Ndombele followed their lead and just ambled around, then Lamela and Sissoko joined the amblefest and decided not to bother even trying to prevent balls coming in, and this is directly how they scored their first two goals.
General fucking apathy.
I can't even be arsed to talk about the sub(s) they were as irrelevant as they usually are counter intuitive.
You can run on the fumes of some talent, the odd intelligent face, and a bit of heart, but once the bollocks have gone, you are fucked. Our manager's bollocks started shrinking as soon as he started pandering to dressing room egos and trying to justify paying 30m for the world's most expensive donkey ride.
Bollock transplant needed. ASAP.
Individual
Lloris - Sorry for the fella's pain obviously, but if it wasn't for the fact that Gazzaniga's not exactly confidence exuding, I'd say it might be a blessing in disguise. Lloris is incredibly inventive when it comes to finding ways to shoot his team up the arse.
Sissoko - How many ways does he have to shit the bed for Poch to drop this dead donkey. Ducked out the way of the cross for the second goal. Then fucking pointed. Just as he ducked out the way of Bayern's free kick the other day. Nothing represents Poch's embarrassing demise as a manager better than his continual selection, usually in positions he is unequipped to play, of this terrible footballing imposter. Poch will probably play him in goal next week.
Alderweireld - Looked like he was running in treacle Tuesday, looked like he still had some of it stuck to his boots today.
Vertonghen - OK ish.
Davies - Meh.
Dier - Dire
Ndombele - Wasn't't good at all frst half, but in a game we needed to create chances in, it should have been Dier fucking hooked not him.
Lamela - You know you need to worry when even he looks like he can't be arsed to give away idiotic fouls.
Eriksen - ran about a bit
Son - The shittest presser I've ever seen. Never tackles anyone.
Kane - who fucking cares anymore....
The one thing we've been able to say about this - Pochettino's - Spurs side is that, even when we've bumbled about, been a bit inept, it's not lacked for bollocks.
Over the last two years we've seen Poch's recruitment decrease the IQ of this team, his selections, choices and treatment of players has weakened it's heart, but what I saw today completed the trifecta, our fucking bollocks have gone.
At the start of last season, I said Poch needs to bollock up and find that formula that led to his success initially. He shipped out the so called "experienced" wankers, brought in young blood from the academy and invigorated this team. The likes of Mason and Bentaleb weren't world class, Kane wasn't then either, they were all just kids with no fear and a hunger to prove themselves, but they shook the dressing room, wankers that had got too comfortable couldn't coast anymore, the message was clear, work for the group or fuck off.
Somewhere along the way, Poch has allowed that message to become water down, and watered down, until what was once 70% proof moonshine is now flat as fucking Watneys party 7 that was opened last Christmas.
The signs were there in 17/18. But the start of 18/19 really set alarm bells ringing. Many were lauding our "best ever" start, but a few of us were seeing very worrying signs - results for some of us were telling lies, and not little white ones, performances were not good, and we were outscoring those performances and the metrics were confirming this - I remember having a discussion with several people on here where I said we will not be able to continue to outscore these performance metrics over the season - and many of the anti-stat "proper football wankers" would not have it. In 2019 our results have reflected what our performances were telling us in 2018. We are fucking atrocious. We haven't won away since January 1st. Our form has been bordering that of a relegation team, matching performances. The CL run papered over massive cracks. Even in that we barely got out of the group then lost 3 of the last 5 games.
I really hoped Tuesday would be some kind of wake up call for Pochettino. What we need, what we have needed for two years is re-energising. I wanted to see sweeping changes today. I wanted the very weary looking Alderweireld resting, I wanted to see the youthful exuberance of the likes of KWP, Skipp etc, maybe even Parrott on the bench, I wanted to see some young minds out there that hadn't become stale and fucking infected by the lethargy that's become endemic in this team. That would listen to Poch's message, whatever the fuck it is these days, and would run their bollocks off, hungry to still make it. I wanted to see a change of fucking format, some fresh new tactics to liven us up and get people thinking about what they are doing, maximising the players we have and mitigated the flaws that come with them.
We needed Red Bull, instead Poch reached for that fucking Party 7 he'd had in the back of the cupboard, we got CM2 (4231) with Dier as a CM - a fucking experiment that was failure two years ago, in fact it was a failure four years ago as we failed to finish above Leicester and a crippled Woolwich. Why not at least reach for dented can of Stella/Wanyama that was proven to be an upgrade on Dier three years ago.
As far as right back goes, what does the brave promoter of youth do? Puts a 30yo fuck nugget there who not only can't play football, but is a fucking bottler too, hides from the fucking ball, ambles about, doesn't close down properly, when he does get near anyone he fucking falls into them.
KWP should ask for his contract to be ripped up. His career's been annihilated by Pochettino, He's seen his position in the pecking order first fall behind the only right back with a brain smaller than Kyle Walker's in Europe, then behind a CB who does a mean impression of Bunjevcivic, another CB who does a really poor impression of a RB and finally now the ignominy of being behind Frankenstein's brother from another mother.
KWP and Skipp may not be the long term solutions, just as Mason and Bentaleb weren't (though fuck me we'd be better now with them in midfield than Sissoko and Dier) but this continual believing that he will get a different outcome from the same repetitive choices is the definition of an insanity that we are all having to live.
Any of us that have watched Ndombele know you are not going to get the best out of him in a CM2. Why doesn't a man who's paid 8m to do, you know...football...know this?
Our shape shifted, as it often does when it is wrong to start with, from 4231 to 4312 to 442 and in the end the players looked as baffled by the constant morphing as we were. We ended up playing 3412, which was as ineffectual as all the other formations we tried.
People were lauding a great defensive display last week with 10 men. It wasn't. People were saying what a great job Sissoko did as RB. He didn't. we conceded something like 20 crosses last week, and the majority were allowed to come in from the right. And this inability to prevent teams getting "at" us has become a disease that's spread through the whole team. Kane and Son are fucking useless, the third (or fourth - hard to remember which) goal on Tuesday came from Kane and Alli just standing around letting defenders pick passes out of defence, today was the same, Dier and Ndombele followed their lead and just ambled around, then Lamela and Sissoko joined the amblefest and decided not to bother even trying to prevent balls coming in, and this is directly how they scored their first two goals.
General fucking apathy.
I can't even be arsed to talk about the sub(s) they were as irrelevant as they usually are counter intuitive.
You can run on the fumes of some talent, the odd intelligent face, and a bit of heart, but once the bollocks have gone, you are fucked. Our manager's bollocks started shrinking as soon as he started pandering to dressing room egos and trying to justify paying 30m for the world's most expensive donkey ride.
Bollock transplant needed. ASAP.
Individual
Lloris - Sorry for the fella's pain obviously, but if it wasn't for the fact that Gazzaniga's not exactly confidence exuding, I'd say it might be a blessing in disguise. Lloris is incredibly inventive when it comes to finding ways to shoot his team up the arse.
Sissoko - How many ways does he have to shit the bed for Poch to drop this dead donkey. Ducked out the way of the cross for the second goal. Then fucking pointed. Just as he ducked out the way of Bayern's free kick the other day. Nothing represents Poch's embarrassing demise as a manager better than his continual selection, usually in positions he is unequipped to play, of this terrible footballing imposter. Poch will probably play him in goal next week.
Alderweireld - Looked like he was running in treacle Tuesday, looked like he still had some of it stuck to his boots today.
Vertonghen - OK ish.
Davies - Meh.
Dier - Dire
Ndombele - Wasn't't good at all frst half, but in a game we needed to create chances in, it should have been Dier fucking hooked not him.
Lamela - You know you need to worry when even he looks like he can't be arsed to give away idiotic fouls.
Eriksen - ran about a bit
Son - The shittest presser I've ever seen. Never tackles anyone.
Kane - who fucking cares anymore....
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