Brighton v Spurs 19/20 Ratings and ramblings

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Castration

The one thing we've been able to say about this - Pochettino's - Spurs side is that, even when we've bumbled about, been a bit inept, it's not lacked for bollocks.

Over the last two years we've seen Poch's recruitment decrease the IQ of this team, his selections, choices and treatment of players has weakened it's heart, but what I saw today completed the trifecta, our fucking bollocks have gone.

At the start of last season, I said Poch needs to bollock up and find that formula that led to his success initially. He shipped out the so called "experienced" wankers, brought in young blood from the academy and invigorated this team. The likes of Mason and Bentaleb weren't world class, Kane wasn't then either, they were all just kids with no fear and a hunger to prove themselves, but they shook the dressing room, wankers that had got too comfortable couldn't coast anymore, the message was clear, work for the group or fuck off.

Somewhere along the way, Poch has allowed that message to become water down, and watered down, until what was once 70% proof moonshine is now flat as fucking Watneys party 7 that was opened last Christmas.

The signs were there in 17/18. But the start of 18/19 really set alarm bells ringing. Many were lauding our "best ever" start, but a few of us were seeing very worrying signs - results for some of us were telling lies, and not little white ones, performances were not good, and we were outscoring those performances and the metrics were confirming this - I remember having a discussion with several people on here where I said we will not be able to continue to outscore these performance metrics over the season - and many of the anti-stat "proper football wankers" would not have it. In 2019 our results have reflected what our performances were telling us in 2018. We are fucking atrocious. We haven't won away since January 1st. Our form has been bordering that of a relegation team, matching performances. The CL run papered over massive cracks. Even in that we barely got out of the group then lost 3 of the last 5 games.

I really hoped Tuesday would be some kind of wake up call for Pochettino. What we need, what we have needed for two years is re-energising. I wanted to see sweeping changes today. I wanted the very weary looking Alderweireld resting, I wanted to see the youthful exuberance of the likes of KWP, Skipp etc, maybe even Parrott on the bench, I wanted to see some young minds out there that hadn't become stale and fucking infected by the lethargy that's become endemic in this team. That would listen to Poch's message, whatever the fuck it is these days, and would run their bollocks off, hungry to still make it. I wanted to see a change of fucking format, some fresh new tactics to liven us up and get people thinking about what they are doing, maximising the players we have and mitigated the flaws that come with them.

We needed Red Bull, instead Poch reached for that fucking Party 7 he'd had in the back of the cupboard, we got CM2 (4231) with Dier as a CM - a fucking experiment that was failure two years ago, in fact it was a failure four years ago as we failed to finish above Leicester and a crippled Woolwich. Why not at least reach for dented can of Stella/Wanyama that was proven to be an upgrade on Dier three years ago.

As far as right back goes, what does the brave promoter of youth do? Puts a 30yo fuck nugget there who not only can't play football, but is a fucking bottler too, hides from the fucking ball, ambles about, doesn't close down properly, when he does get near anyone he fucking falls into them.

KWP should ask for his contract to be ripped up. His career's been annihilated by Pochettino, He's seen his position in the pecking order first fall behind the only right back with a brain smaller than Kyle Walker's in Europe, then behind a CB who does a mean impression of Bunjevcivic, another CB who does a really poor impression of a RB and finally now the ignominy of being behind Frankenstein's brother from another mother.

KWP and Skipp may not be the long term solutions, just as Mason and Bentaleb weren't (though fuck me we'd be better now with them in midfield than Sissoko and Dier) but this continual believing that he will get a different outcome from the same repetitive choices is the definition of an insanity that we are all having to live.

Any of us that have watched Ndombele know you are not going to get the best out of him in a CM2. Why doesn't a man who's paid 8m to do, you know...football...know this?

Our shape shifted, as it often does when it is wrong to start with, from 4231 to 4312 to 442 and in the end the players looked as baffled by the constant morphing as we were. We ended up playing 3412, which was as ineffectual as all the other formations we tried.

People were lauding a great defensive display last week with 10 men. It wasn't. People were saying what a great job Sissoko did as RB. He didn't. we conceded something like 20 crosses last week, and the majority were allowed to come in from the right. And this inability to prevent teams getting "at" us has become a disease that's spread through the whole team. Kane and Son are fucking useless, the third (or fourth - hard to remember which) goal on Tuesday came from Kane and Alli just standing around letting defenders pick passes out of defence, today was the same, Dier and Ndombele followed their lead and just ambled around, then Lamela and Sissoko joined the amblefest and decided not to bother even trying to prevent balls coming in, and this is directly how they scored their first two goals.

General fucking apathy.

I can't even be arsed to talk about the sub(s) they were as irrelevant as they usually are counter intuitive.

You can run on the fumes of some talent, the odd intelligent face, and a bit of heart, but once the bollocks have gone, you are fucked. Our manager's bollocks started shrinking as soon as he started pandering to dressing room egos and trying to justify paying 30m for the world's most expensive donkey ride.

Bollock transplant needed. ASAP.

Individual

Lloris - Sorry for the fella's pain obviously, but if it wasn't for the fact that Gazzaniga's not exactly confidence exuding, I'd say it might be a blessing in disguise. Lloris is incredibly inventive when it comes to finding ways to shoot his team up the arse.

Sissoko - How many ways does he have to shit the bed for Poch to drop this dead donkey. Ducked out the way of the cross for the second goal. Then fucking pointed. Just as he ducked out the way of Bayern's free kick the other day. Nothing represents Poch's embarrassing demise as a manager better than his continual selection, usually in positions he is unequipped to play, of this terrible footballing imposter. Poch will probably play him in goal next week.

Alderweireld - Looked like he was running in treacle Tuesday, looked like he still had some of it stuck to his boots today.

Vertonghen - OK ish.

Davies - Meh.

Dier - Dire

Ndombele - Wasn't't good at all frst half, but in a game we needed to create chances in, it should have been Dier fucking hooked not him.

Lamela - You know you need to worry when even he looks like he can't be arsed to give away idiotic fouls.

Eriksen - ran about a bit

Son - The shittest presser I've ever seen. Never tackles anyone.

Kane - who fucking cares anymore....
 
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You need to move on from Sissoko, it’s not a bad piece but Sissoko was far from our worst performer yesterday.

N/A - Lloris - can’t say much as he injured himself.

3 - Sissoko - covered mainly ok but there where times he could have done better.

2 - Toby - crap.

5 - Verts - ok, put himself about a bit.

2 - Davies - crap.

0 - Dier - just terrible.

2 - Ndombele - he is dangerous when we have the ball thus he was not very good.

3 - Lamela - not his best game that’s for sure.

2 - Son - crap.

0 - Eriksen - a non-entity, not even worthy of a bench place.

2 - Kane - crap.

Subs

4 - Gazza - don’t blame him for the two goals.

6 - Moura - came on and added a spark.

5 - Winks - better than everyone else (Moura excepted).
 
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General fucking apathy.

Bollock transplant needed. ASAP.

1000 % per cent.

I have never seen a Spurs team just roll over and have their tummy tickled as much as this season.

1 goal goes in and the whole team fucking collapses.

No passion, no fight, no grit, no determination and worst of all;

NO FUCKING INDIVIDUAL PRIDE.
 
Castration

The one thing we've been able to say about this - Pochettino's - Spurs side is that, even when we've bumbled about, been a bit inept, it's not lacked for bollocks.

Over the last two years we've seen Poch's recruitment decrease the IQ of this team, his selections, choices and treatment of players has weakened it's heart, but what I saw today completed the trifecta, our fucking bollocks have gone.

At the start of last season, I said Poch needs to bollock up and find that formula that led to his success initially. He shipped out the so called "experienced" wankers, brought in young blood from the academy and invigorated this team. The likes of Mason and Bentaleb weren't world class, Kane wasn't then either, they were all just kids with no fear and a hunger to prove themselves, but they shook the dressing room, wankers that had got too comfortable couldn't coast anymore, the message was clear, work for the group or fuck off.

Somewhere along the way, Poch has allowed that message to become water down, and watered down, until what was once 70% proof moonshine is now flat as fucking Watneys party 7 that was opened last Christmas.

The signs were there in 17/18. But the start of 18/19 really set alarm bells ringing. Many were lauding our "best ever" start, but a few of us were seeing very worrying signs - results for some of us were telling lies, and not little white ones, performances were not good, and we were outscoring those performances and the metrics were confirming this - I remember having a discussion with several people on here where I said we will not be able to continue to outscore these performance metrics over the season - and many of the anti-stat "proper football wankers" would not have it. In 2019 our results have reflected what our performances were telling us in 2018. We are fucking atrocious. We haven't won away since January 1st. Our form has been bordering that of a relegation team, matching performances. The CL run papered over massive cracks. Even in that we barely got out of the group then lost 3 of the last 5 games.

I really hoped Tuesday would be some kind of wake up call for Pochettino. What we need, what we have needed for two years is re-energising. I wanted to see sweeping changes today. I wanted the very weary looking Alderweireld resting, I wanted to see the youthful exuberance of the likes of KWP, Skipp etc, maybe even Parrott on the bench, I wanted to see some young minds out there that hadn't become stale and fucking infected by the lethargy that's become endemic in this team. That would listen to Poch's message, whatever the fuck it is these days, and would run their bollocks off, hungry to still make it. I wanted to see a change of fucking format, some fresh new tactics to liven us up and get people thinking about what they are doing, maximising the players we have and mitigated the flaws that come with them.

We needed Red Bull, instead Poch reached for that fucking Party 7 he'd had in the back of the cupboard, we got CM2 (4231) with Dier as a CM - a fucking experiment that was failure two years ago, in fact it was a failure four years ago as we failed to finish above Leicester and a crippled Woolwich. Why not at least reach for dented can of Stella/Wanyama that was proven to be an upgrade on Dier three years ago.

As far as right back goes, what does the brave promoter of youth do? Puts a 30yo fuck nugget there who not only can't play football, but is a fucking bottler too, hides from the fucking ball, ambles about, doesn't close down properly, when he does get near anyone he fucking falls into them.

KWP should ask for his contract to be ripped up. His career's been annihilated by Pochettino, He's seen his position in the pecking order first fall behind the only right back with a brain smaller than Kyle Walker's in Europe, then behind a CB who does a mean impression of Bunjevcivic, another CB who does a really poor impression of a RB and finally now the ignominy of being behind Frankenstein's brother from another mother.

KWP and Skipp may not be the long term solutions, just as Mason and Bentaleb weren't (though fuck me we'd be better now with them in midfield than Sissoko and Dier) but this continual believing that he will get a different outcome from the same repetitive choices is the definition of an insanity that we are all having to live.

Any of us that have watched Ndombele know you are not going to get the best out of him in a CM2. Why doesn't a man who's paid 8m to do, you know...football...know this?

Our shape shifted, as it often does when it is wrong to start with, from 4231 to 4312 to 442 and in the end the players looked as baffled by the constant morphing as we were. We ended up playing 3412, which was as ineffectual as all the other formations we tried.

People were lauding a great defensive display last week with 10 men. It wasn't. People were saying what a great job Sissoko did as RB. He didn't. we conceded something like 20 crosses last week, and the majority were allowed to come in from the right. And this inability to prevent teams getting "at" us has become a disease that's spread through the whole team. Kane and Son are fucking useless, the third (or fourth - hard to remember which) goal on Tuesday came from Kane and Alli just standing around letting defenders pick passes out of defence, today was the same, Dier and Ndombele followed their lead and just ambled around, then Lamela and Sissoko joined the amblefest and decided not to bother even trying to prevent balls coming in, and this is directly how they scored their first two goals.

General fucking apathy.

I can't even be arsed to talk about the sub(s) they were as irrelevant as they usually are counter intuitive.

You can run on the fumes of some talent, the odd intelligent face, and a bit of heart, but once the bollocks have gone, you are fucked. Our manager's bollocks started shrinking as soon as he started pandering to dressing room egos and trying to justify paying 30m for the world's most expensive donkey ride.

Bollock transplant needed. ASAP.

Individual

Lloris - Sorry for the fella's pain obviously, but if it wasn't for the fact that Gazzaniga's not exactly confidence exuding, I'd say it might be a blessing in disguise. Lloris is incredibly inventive when it comes to finding ways to shoot his team up the arse.

Sissoko - How many ways does he have to shit the bed for Poch to drop this dead donkey. Ducked out the way of the cross for the second goal. Then fucking pointed. Just as he ducked out the way of Bayern's free kick the other day. Nothing represents Poch's embarrassing demise as a manager better than his continual selection, usually in positions he is unequipped to play, of this terrible footballing imposter. Poch will probably play him in goal next week.

Alderweireld - Looked like he was running in treacle Tuesday, looked like he still had some of it stuck to his boots today.

Vertonghen - OK ish.

Davies - Meh.

Dier - Dire

Ndombele - Wasn't't good at all frst half, but in a game we needed to create chances in, it should have been Dier fucking hooked not him.

Lamela - You know you need to worry when even he looks like he can't be arsed to give away idiotic fouls.

Eriksen - ran about a bit

Son - The shittest presser I've ever seen. Never tackles anyone.

Kane - who fucking cares anymore....

Fair summary

Only thing I'd add is that Lloris was in a fair amount of pain (pictures seemed to show his lower arm twisted 180 degrees) and screaming before being sedated on he pitch.

I do wonder if that incident just unnerved/upset the other players, as this was such a different performance in terms of balls than the 10 men against Southampton.
 
I do wonder if that incident just unnerved/upset the other players, as this was such a different performance in terms of balls than the 10 men against Southampton.

I wondered the same thing but on reflection I really doubt it. Not to say there wouldn't have been empathy there and maybe 10 mins of re-grouping but they had the whiff of resignation about them from the off.

Lloris - brain fart then injured
Sissoko - poor
Toby - poor
Verts - entirely average
Davies - mundane
Dier - beyond abysmal, which was not suprising.
Lamela - didn't care.
Son - looks like a kid who's watched his drunk dad trash his train set.
Eriksen - a quantum point above Dier on the shit scale.
Kane - Slow, cumbersome, no press, no speed, resigned to failure.
Gazza - Didn't react quickly enough and move to the left for the 3rd goal.
Moura - One man army but Brighton too awake. Gave a shit, as always.
Winks - Had a go.
Poch - Has lost so many plots his allotment's now the size of a sheep pen.
 
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I wondered the same thing but on reflection I really doubt it. Not to say there wouldn't have been empathy there and maybe 10 mins of re-grouping but they had the whiff of resignation about them from the off.

No doubt it affected them but it’s not really an excuse. I think it’s more that we were behind before we could even get started and some of them are just too knackered or distracted to really get stuck in when things go wrong.

Even someone like Lamela didn’t seem to have any appetite for the game, I don’t even think he made one foul. There was no real will from our team. We offered no resistance to Brighton at all, that’s probably the easiest game they’ll play this season. When things are this bad you need to take the nuclear option and either the manager brings the hammer down on every single player who is jogging around or we sack him and shame the players into doing their work properly.
 
Great write up other than clinging onto the Sissoko hate for nothing but pride.

Very silly. It’s the exact sort of blinkered shit that has throttled this club

It’s the blinkered shit, excusing (and in some cases hyperbolic tub thumping to support an agenda of « see I told you Sissoko would come good ») of Pochettino’s continual selection of a player that belongs nowhere near this level of football, and especially not in a midfield (or RB), that is emblematic of this club’s demise.

Anyone who thinks Eriksen has been varying degrees of shit for the last 5 years, but « fucking loves Sissoko » is now getting the Spurs they deserve.
 
It’s the blinkered shit, excusing (and in some cases hyperbolic tub thumping to support an agenda of « see I told you Sissoko would come good ») of Pochettino’s continual selection of a player that belongs nowhere near this level of football, and especially not in a midfield (or RB), that is emblematic of this club’s demise.

Anyone who thinks Eriksen has been varying degrees of shit for the last 5 years, but « fucking loves Sissoko » is now getting the Spurs they deserve.

Give me a limited tried every day of the week mate.

Done with talented lazy cunts
 
No doubt it affected them but it’s not really an excuse. I think it’s more that we were behind before we could even get started and some of them are just too knackered or distracted to really get stuck in when things go wrong.

Even someone like Lamela didn’t seem to have any appetite for the game, I don’t even think he made one foul. There was no real will from our team. We offered no resistance to Brighton at all, that’s probably the easiest game they’ll play this season. When things are this bad you need to take the nuclear option and either the manager brings the hammer down on every single player who is jogging around or we sack him and shame the players into doing their work properly.

A worrying indicator that indeed discontent can spread and take root despite the nature of the individuals involved.

Drop the want-aways now. Start from there and keep peeling away at any remaining unmotivated players until the collective mentality starts to look up... Do we really want Ndombele, Lo Celso, kids like Skipp etc. becoming 'infected' too?

It's not like we don't have a solid core of decent (or better) players who have previously proven themselves to genuinely give a fuck.... Kane, Winks, Lamela, Son, Lucas, Sissoko, Vert, Davies....
 
Poch seems like an intensely loyal guy—I think it’s a part of the reason why players seem to love him. But that loyalty is not helping anymore.

I wouldn’t blame KWP or Lucas for asking away.
 
Give me a limited tried every day of the week mate.

Done with talented lazy cunts

Lazy isn’t covering more ground than everyone else, whilst seeing more ball than most of your midfielders, whilst scoring and assisting 20+ goals a season.

Lazy is hiding from the fucking ball, pointing and walking to close someone down instead of sprinting.
 
Lazy isn’t covering more ground than everyone else, whilst seeing more ball than most of your midfielders, whilst scoring and assisting 20+ goals a season.

Who's that guy...? Maybe we can sign him to replace this season's #10.
 
He doesn’t hide....you’re just wrong here


(Allegedly only tackles once a game too. :roll: )

Someone crossed from the right; therefore initiate blinkered as fuck bias from minute 2 of MS's first PL game as RB.

Doesn't watch the guy; merely seeks data to castigate the fucker with.

Fucking horseshit.
 
3cislx.jpg
 
He doesn’t hide....you’re just wrong here

I’ve given examples, with pictures. Go and look in the tactical thread at the Bayern game, or the examples - with pictures - that I and others - like RESPECT THE COCK RESPECT THE COCK - have posted in the Sissoko thread. Like the two examples from the CL final or Five’s from the Newcastle game.

By your own admission you « fucking love him » you do not want to see it.

Effort is the minimum I expect from everyone, and I accept all players and teams have compromises, but a coach that puts mediocrity or even incompetence at the epicentre of his team, gets what he deserves. And fans that applaud it do too.
 
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