Is that his 100 Club episode? How do I get that?? Even though I've seen YouTube compilations of all of his goals at least 20 times, I wouldn't mind seeing the 100 Club compilation in real HD with the original commentary.
Anyway, the way you talk about going through essentially an addiction withdrawal process is kinda concerning. It's an indicator that football makes up a far too significant part of your life. You should at least consider using this unexpected free time to work on your psychological health rather than engaging in typical addictive stimulus-seeking behaviour. You're not going to be able to find what you need to satisfy your addiction right now, I don't think, so continuing this chase is going to be both frustrating and ultimately unfulfilling for you.
I'm not going to offer any unsolicited life advice - except to point out the problem, like I did already - but I can never leave a message like this or the common "I'm genuinely depressed about football results" alone without explaining the issue and offering a little friendly encouragement.
Modern football intentionally hooks into the parts of our brains that naturally desire a sense of tribal belonging, providing artificial stimulation that makes us docile and indifferent to issues outside of this microcosmic world of football (a world that we've basically used as a surrogate for our own). When we fall for the lure, as so many have, times like these, where we're forced into a cold turkey withdrawal situation, can be absolutely awful. In terms of what happens neurologically, your brain struggles to tell the difference between the temporary disappearance of a comparatively meaningless sport and the disappearance of your community, your dopaminergic drive, your rituals, your "loved ones", your identity. The reason the withdrawal symptoms can be so severe is because your brain has the latter confused with the former.
To be honest, football supportership can easily become super unhealthy and it's a grave concern to me. Even most "moderate" fans are more invested than I would suggest is ideal. Football is pretty much Love Island but aimed primarily at men, with even more addictive power and a facade of legitimacy (I wonder how many guys have said to their wives something like "at least football is real and involves physical exercise [just not for me]").
The neuropsychology and neurobiology of football fandom attracts little academic interest (I'm an exception, especially because my interest is driven by concern for lads in this country). Unfortunately, I've never been able to get funding to study football's relation to my field in any professional capacity. It's just one of many areas of personal intellectual interest.
A shocking number of neuroscientists and especially psychologists and sociologists privately believe that it's actually a good thing that men are all distracted by bread and circus addictions like football. My proposals to look objectively at harms never attract any interest whatsoever, despite open acknowledgement that those harms are very real. Sometimes I wonder if we're really just supposed to support, or at least ignore, all the distractions of modernity that keep everyone uninterested, dumbed down and highly pliable. Don't upset the supply chain of the sheep feed, or something. Hm. That's the kind of stuff that keeps me awake at night.
Point is: please take care of yourself, OP.
