Iv'e seen pasteurised milk turn quicker..

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Who are the fattest and slowest players in the Premier League?

I've got to go Fat Lampard. The reason Ray Wilkins left Chelsea is because Lampard had recurring dreams of painting Wilkins head red and devouring him like a cherry bakewell :wub:

I've seen roadworks overtake Per Mertesacker so thats a given. :gay:
 
Ledley?

They said something in commentary about him being the quickest at the back once and now hes the slowest!
 
Quickest have to be

Walcott
Agbonglawhore
Walker
Bale?
Adam Johnson
Bellamy is quick

Lennon is quick but not sure his acceleration is actually better than his top speed.
 
Dru said:
Quickest have to be

Walcott
Agbonglawhore
Walker
Bale?
Adam Johnson
Bellamy is quick

Lennon is quick but not sure his acceleration is actually better than his top speed.

Bale said this week that Lennon is quicker than him, but he catches up over long distances. Was an interview for football boot manufacturer I believe.

As for slowest, The Daily Mail says Sandro is the slowest outfield player (Rob Green being the slowest overall).

However, They also say Wilshire is the quickest at Woolwich - stats by EA Sports and not Opta.

Twats.
 
Teddy Sheringham. Second Spell. Christ almighty watching him chase an aimless through ball was like sticking needles in your eyes...

That whole team in those glory glory Hoddle years could feature in this thread. I think Sir Les was one of the quicker players in that team...probably because he was the youngest
 
YidoBuckler said:
AberdeenYid said:
Isn't Richard Dunne the heaviest player in the PL? He's shite too.

He turned 3 of our players in our move last night.

More skill than Bent showed all night anyway. :ade:

Darren Bent couldn't hit water if he fell out of a boat.

He couldn't outskill a corpse on the skilliest day of the year, even if he had an electrified skilling machine.
 
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