What would you have written in your message to Spurs fans?

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Ealesy

Put yourself in Harry Kane’s situation - you must write a message to the fans to address what has been going on. What do you say?

Something like this:

Dear Spurs fans,

I have been an enormous cunt. I’m sorry.
I’m not leaving now because I’ve realised Man City are a bunch of utter bellends who are ruining football with their scumbag money.

Also, my brother is an absolute cunting troglodyte and I’m binning him off for an actual agent.

Cheers,
Florida Man
 
It would go something like this....

Wham! bam!
I am! a man!
Job or no job,
You can't tell me that I'm not.
Do! you!
Enjoy what you do?
If not, just stop!
Don't stay there and rot!
You got soul...
You got soul...
I said get, get, get on down,
Said get, get, get, on down.
Hey everybody take a look at me,
I've got street credibility,
I may not have a job,
But I have a good time,
With the boys that I meet down on the line
I said, I - don't - need - you
So you don't approve,
Well who asked you to?
Hey, jerk, you, work
This boy's got better things to do
Hell,
I ain't never gonna work, get down in the dirt,
I choose, to cruise.
Gonna live my life, sharp as a knife,
I've found my groove and I just can't lose.
A.1. style from head to toe,
Cool cat flash gonna let you know,
I'm a soul boy - I'm a dole boy,
Take pleasure in leisure, I believe in joy!
Wham! bam!
I am! a man!
Job or no job,
You can't tell me that I'm not.
Do! you!
Enjoy what you do?
If not, just stop!
Don't stay there and rot!
Party nights, and neon lights,
We hit the floors, we hit the heights.
Dancing shoes, and pretty girls.
Boys in leather kiss girls in pearls!
Hot-damn! everybody, let's play!
So they promised you a good job - no way!
One, two, three, rap!
C'mon everybody, don't need this crap!
Wham! bam!
I am! a man!
Job or no job,
You can't tell me that I'm not.
Do! you!
Enjoy what you do?
If not, just stop!
Don't stay there and rot!
If you're a pub man
Or a club man
Maybe a jet black guy with a hip hi-fi
A white cool cat with a trilby hat
Maybe leather and studs is where you're at
Make the most of every day
Don't let hard times stand in your way
Give a wham give a bam but don't give a damn
Cos the benefit gang are gonna pay!
Now reach up high and touch your soul,
The boys from wham! will help you reach that goal.
It's gonna break your mama's heart, (so sad)
It's gonna break your daddy's heart, (too bad)
But you'll throw the dice and take my advice,
Because I know that you're smart.
Can you dig this thing? Yeah!
Are you gonna get down? Yeah!
Say wham! Wham!
Say bam! Bam!
Wham! bam!
I am! a man!
Job or no job,
You can't tell me that I'm not.
Do! you!
Enjoy what you do?
If not, just stop!
Don't stay there and rot!
Do you want to work? No
Are you gonna have fun? Yeah
Said one, two, three, rap, c'mon everybody,
Don't need this crap!
Enjoy what you do?
Everybody say wham! Wham!
Everybody say wham! bam! Wham! bam!
Enjoy what you do?

By the way, I've been a Dick, will be back at the weekend.
SOZ.
 
Ealesy said:
Put yourself in Harry Kane’s situation - you must write a message to the fans to address what has been going on. What do you say?

Something like this:

Dear Spurs fans,

I have been an enormous cunt. I’m sorry.
I’m not leaving now because I’ve realised Man City are a bunch of utter bellends who are ruining football with their scumbag money.

Also, my brother is an absolute cunting troglodyte and I’m binning him off for an actual agent.

Cheers,
Florida Man
Click to expand...

That works for me :nunothumb:
 
just wish it was an honest along the lines

I had a agreement with Levy I could leave this summer, but it didn't have a transfer fee as part of the agreement (I thought we did)
I felt Levy was not playing fair, But it was my mistake not sorting out a transfer fee
I said sorry to Levy & the manager players etc, also saying sorry to the supporters

But do it in a press conferance so he can be asked questions
 
Good Morning,

Why is everyone so angry that Harry Winks wants to leave on a free transfer to Barnet?

Please just allow Harry the chance to fulfil a childhood dream of becoming a bee.

Keep on collecting those nectar points and one day you will be able to visit Florida.

Harry
 
Ealesy said:
Put yourself in Harry Kane’s situation - you must write a message to the fans to address what has been going on. What do you say?

Something like this:

Dear Spurs fans,

I have been an enormous cunt. I’m sorry.
I’m not leaving now because I’ve realised Man City are a bunch of utter bellends who are ruining football with their scumbag money.

Also, my brother is an absolute cunting troglodyte and I’m binning him off for an actual agent.

Cheers,
Florida Man
Click to expand...
Couldn't have put it better myself! ;)
 
I've suddenly had an a epiphany
ive realised that leaving spurs to join the oil barons of abu dhabi is the wrong thing to do. Winning trophies with them would be like losing my virginity to a prostitute. So I'm prepared to stay with spurs on the off chance we may win a league cup. Also I'm sorry to the fans and my team mates for behaving like an utter dick. Please dont boo me and I hope the players dont wedgie me in the changing room. My brother is no longer my agent I'm using him as a door stop.
Love H
 
Hello fans

My bruvver sed I shud play goals at manchestur as wuld get shiney fings given to me.

But danul said no so I don't want to come home as its suney in flo rider and am eating burgers! Bet Tangee is jelus!

Love Harry xx
 
When gone am I, the last of my fans will you be. The force runs strong in this family. Pass on what you have learned. Fans...there...is....a...noth...er...Stri...ker...
 
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