Zlatan Ibrahimovic...

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Well I wasn’t mocking America - far from it. I was only trying to educate that hippie SoCal and his ancient fiddle. Chap needs a shave though.
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Here’s a better video of our childhood game played by adults.



Many of these people would go on to become experts in stress fracture engineering - yeah I don’t know how either.

Imagine growing up with Chestnuts. That's right, I can only imagine. The blight came and took all of them.

The holidays come around and we sing about chestnuts roasting o'er an open fire, forgetting what it means and what we've lost.

You cruel monster.
 
Imagine growing up with Chestnuts. That's right, I can only imagine. The blight came and took all of them.

The holidays come around and we sing about chestnuts roasting o'er an open fire, forgetting what it means and what we've lost.

You cruel monster.
You’ll catch up VS. You lot love a “froggy went a courting’ sing a’long” but we prefer to burn our revolutionaries on an open fire while the kids scream with glee and the Mums providing baked potatoes for the masses. It used to be the best night of the year as a 10 year old. Penny for the guy and all that bollocks, and going on raiding parties across the river to demolish their sheds to get wood for our massive communal fire. Basically my life ended when I was 11.
 
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Yeah, yeah, I know, but before computer games it was a big deal in Britain. Throwing sticks up at the tree to dislodge the conkers was the fun part - it developed muscles and character. You’d arrive at a well known tree only to find it had been stripped of its conkers by a rival gang. It’s a kids game, but one that encouraged tribalism and gang fights at an early age.

Sadly, like many medieval children’s games, it has fallen out of favour due to political correctness. It also had scoring system that I won’t attempt to explain here.
It was also the cause of a well know injury called "conkers forearm". This was the result of missing your opponents conker and allowing yours to upswing onto your lower arm. God it hurt after a while.
Was it vinegar they used to soak them in to make them harder ?? I can't remember.
 
Here’s a better video of our childhood game played by adults.



Many of these people would go on to become experts in stress fracture engineering - yeah I don’t know how either.

Interesting how different cultures keep themselves busy. Rafa Benitez’s brother in that video was pretty shit. I feel like I can take him.
 
It was also the cause of a well know injury called "conkers forearm". This was the result of missing your opponents conker and allowing yours to upswing onto your lower arm. God it hurt after a while.
Was it vinegar they used to soak them in to make them harder ?? I can't remember.

If a tangle occurred the first participant to shout “strings” had the next swing

Pickling the said conker was banned and easily spotted because of the difference in colour
 
Where I lived as a kid backed onto a disused railway line that separated our back garden from the local Grammar school. Just over the storm ditch which ran between the railway and the school was a line of mature conker trees. They used to get a battering every year from the local kids.

One year a group from further down on the council estate came along and climbed the trees and shook them clean. Me and a mate went over armed with a few sticks to chuck up found a carpet of conkers laying on the floor. Unaware that they were the bounty of someone else's hard work we hoovered up as many as we could carry and took them back to my garden. Needless to say the council hards didn't take long to discover the whereabouts of the haul, and after a decent negotiation we had to surrender most of the shiny brown treasure back to them.

Nowadays we have a huge conker tree in our back garden and my girls have never shown the slightest interest in the fruit. Bloody wasted.
 
Where I lived as a kid backed onto a disused railway line that separated our back garden from the local Grammar school. Just over the storm ditch which ran between the railway and the school was a line of mature conker trees. They used to get a battering every year from the local kids.

One year a group from further down on the council estate came along and climbed the trees and shook them clean. Me and a mate went over armed with a few sticks to chuck up found a carpet of conkers laying on the floor. Unaware that they were the bounty of someone else's hard work we hoovered up as many as we could carry and took them back to my garden. Needless to say the council hards didn't take long to discover the whereabouts of the haul, and after a decent negotiation we had to surrender most of the shiny brown treasure back to them.

Nowadays we have a huge conker tree in our back garden and my girls have never shown the slightest interest in the fruit. Bloody wasted.
Growing up in the posh part of Wood Green I can recall similar stories. Although the local kids had no interest in collecting conkers to hold on to them. I once got whacked right in the forehead with one. I deserved it though, I was taking the piss with my shiny school blazer.
 
I can only imagine Zlatans face as he scrolls through a Tottenham forum, wanting to see how excited the fans are at the mere prospect of him joining us, only to see 2 pages of Chestnut discussion.
 
Yeah, yeah, I know, but before computer games it was a big deal in Britain. Throwing sticks up at the tree to dislodge the conkers was the fun part - it developed muscles and character. You’d arrive at a well known tree only to find it had been stripped of its conkers by a rival gang. It’s a kids game, but one that encouraged tribalism and gang fights at an early age.

Sadly, like many medieval children’s games, it has fallen out of favour due to political correctness. It also had scoring system that I won’t attempt to explain here.

Conkers got banned at our school cos they didnt want u climbing trees.... Nor 'conking' other peoples heads.

"Thatcher's bloody Britain" - Rick.
 
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It was also the cause of a well know injury called "conkers forearm". This was the result of missing your opponents conker and allowing yours to upswing onto your lower arm. God it hurt after a while.
Was it vinegar they used to soak them in to make them harder ?? I can't remember.
Vinegar and then gas mark 2 for 20 minutes.

Turned them into concrete. However after a time (after they achieved 45er status) they would shatter into a million eyeball-lacerating shards.
 
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