6 Reasons Tottenham Hotspur Are Pathetically Overrated in the EPL
Tottenham Hotspur might outwardly appear to be on their way to a level of Premier League success that's unlike anything that they've accomplished in decades. But in reality, they're little more than a mediocre bunch of overrated players who are doomed to eventually fall and leave their fans disappointed.
While Spurs fans might be thrilled to see their side sitting in third place with a shot at the title, they don't see what the rest of us see. They don't see all the reasons, cited again and again by the Tottenham-hating elite, why Spurs aren't nearly as spectacular as they appear to be.
So, for those deluded fans at White Hart Lane, I've compiled a few of those reasons so as to demonstrate the true face of Tottenham Hotspur and their glaringly obvious lack of talent.
Without further ado, here are the top six reasons why Tottenham Hotspur are pathetically overrated. As for why only a few of us outspoken football fans can see it, I'm sorry to say that I have no answer.
1. Gareth Bale Just Isn't Very Good
I don't understand why Spurs don't just sell Gareth Bale while his value is up, because it won't be long before teams start realizing that he's not worth half of what Harry Redknapp and Daniel Levy think he's worth.
Gareth Bale had one good game over a year ago against Inter Milan in the Champions League group stage, and everyone thinks he's the messiah. What's so great about him? His speed down the wing? His quick, pinpoint crosses into the box? His deceptive footwork and the fear he incites in defenders as he races toward goal?
Come on.
Aside from consistently providing goals and assists when needed, (in a team that's pretty well known for sharing the scoring wealth), Gareth Bale brings almost nothing to the table. If he wasn't such a staple to Tottenham's lightning-fast attacking game, then he'd be worthless.
I guess we'll all just pretend he's the greatest winger in the world because of that one good performance, and then also a bunch of other good performances after that.
2. Luka Modric Doesn't Contribute Anything
Luka Modric doesn't score goals, and he doesn't exactly rack up the assists either. So what's he good for?
He's another player that Spurs should sell before his value drops, because for some reason some very prominent names on some very big teams have decided he's worth a lot more than he is. They treat him like he's the best player on the team, while any idiot will tell you he's not even the best player in Tottenham's midfield.
Look at the stats. Don't bother watching him play, because every important detail about a player can be found in the stats. Look at the stats. Just look at the stats.
For God's sake, somebody look at the stats!
3. Harry Redknapp Is an Awful Manager
Some Spurs fans think that Harry Redknapp is a genius. He's not. He's nothing more than giant pile of poor decisions and questionable tactics.
Sure, Tottenham turned their fortunes around almost instantaneously when Redknapp came on board, but correlation is hardly causation.
What has he done, really? Aside from a historic Champions League run and giving Spurs a legitimate shot at the Premier League Title and saving the entire club from obscurity? Nothing is the answer.
His insistence on acquiring Scott Parker in the summer transfer window is widely regarded as a major contribution to Tottenham's success and their ability to turn things around from losses to Manchester United and Manchester City.
But like Luka Modric, Scott Parker hardly contributes any goals or assists, and is just another name on a loaded Tottenham list of midfielders.
And now Redknapp is being considered as manager of England. Yay. If he gets the job, it will be just another example of smart people with lifelong histories in football failing to know more than average fans with outspoken opinions.
4. Every Tottenham Victory Can Be Explained Away
Ever heard of Occam's Razor? It's a theoretical principle that suggests that the simplest explanation for any phenomenon tends to be the most probable. When applied to the recent form of Tottenham Hotspur, it reveals something very telling about their success.
Currently, Spurs are third in overall points on the Barclay's table, with an opportunity to catch up to Manchester United on Wednesday when they play their game in hand.
A spot in second place could be just around the corner for Spurs, which leaves only two explanations: Either Tottenham is the real deal and deserving of their place near the top, or they have been extraordinarily lucky over the course of 19 matches thus far due to multiple anomalies that can perhaps be attributed to constant referee incompetence or conspiracy.
So which of the two is the simplest explanation? That's right, it's the incompetence/conspiracy thing.
"But they beat Woolwich!" you say. Sure, due to a blatant Rafael van der Vaart handball that the referee completely ignored. And Liverpool? That was only thanks to a two man advantage Spurs gained by tricking Liverpool into conceding red cards.
It all has a very logical explanation. Handball, handball, offsides, handball. Every victory has been thanks to some sort of blown call or series of fortunate circumstances that all go Tottenham's way.
Which brings me to my next point.
5. The Only Reliable Indicator of Spurs' Ability Came in Their First Two Matches
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Remember when Manchester United beat Spurs 3-0, and Manchester City embarrassed them at home with a 5-1 thrashing? Good times.
What some Spurs fans don't seem to realize is that those results are more telling of Tottenham's ability than anything. Forget their current standing on the table and forget their overwhelming success in every league match since. The only accurate indicator of Tottenham's form is those two results from four months ago.
I already explained why nothing since then matters, due to my indisputably logical implementation of Occam's Razor. As deceiving as their success since August may appear, they'll never be better than the team that couldn't take out their competition at the top of the table.
Why? Because despite the additions of Emmanuel Adebayor and Scott Parker to their roster, it's a simple fact that teams just don't change or improve over the course of a season.
In fact, by the same token...
6. Teams Don't Change or Improve, Ever
Traditionally, Tottenham Hotspur are a mid-table organization. Thus, Tottenham Hotspur are a mid-table organization.
They are a farm team who will never manage to retain their best players when the big clubs come knocking.
They are a cup team who may as well end their season when they get knocked out of the FA Cup.
They are defensively incompetent, and can never hold a lead no matter how substantial.
And their best hope for ever finishing a season will always be barely breaking into the top half of the table.
They might look like more than that right now, but they'll always be who they are. Because every team will forever be held to the standards they set in the 1990s.
That makes Tottenham nothing more than a supremely overrated group of mediocre players destined for failure.
Harry Redknapp recently told the Sunday Mirror that Tottenham Hotspur will only spend if a "special" player becomes available in January:
"It's extremely unlikely we will be doing any business in this window. Unless someone very special came on the market, someone that could improve the team, I'll stick with what I have."
As a Spurs fan, I definitely agree with Redknapp's position. Despite our recent draw with Swansea, the team is clicking excellently and there are very few flaws present with the current squad.
But there are definitely players out there that could potentially make Tottenham an even more dangerous team than it currently is. And there are a few positions which could be better reinforced within Tottenham's squad as well.
Here are five "special" players that could be just what Redknapp is looking for this January.
this has given me an erection
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