May the farce be with you

by The Fighting Cock


Amongst other things I’m a fan of Tottenham Hotspur, and Sci-Fi in general. I’m not a Sci-Fi geek, but I just like Red Dwarf and all things to do with Aliens and Spaceships (and laser beams). Okay I am a bit of a sci-fi geek, but I’m far from an expert.

One Sci-Fi I’ve never really understood the appeal of is “Star Wars”. Therefore it may be particularly foolish to use it as an analogy for the plight of Spurs fans, but I’m going to do it anyway.

Everyone is different in the amount they follow and support their club. I still get to White Hart Lane a few times a season, a lot less than I used to mainly because I can barely afford to eat anymore. I’m a decent fan, I know my football and I follow the team through anything even though this season’s been a particularly tough one to endure. The expectation has outweighed the achievement, and inevitably it’s always better when it is the other way round.

Whilst listening to the opinions of certain Spurs fans on the campaign to get drum back at White Hart Lane it got me thinking on how we think the club should view us. I think we all pretty much agree that gone are the days that the club view us with any affection. If we’re spending our money on them then they’re happy.

The point I’m trying to get across here is that the club will do whatever is best for the club regardless of what the fans actually want. Even if this goes directly against what the fans want. From their point of view, it’s a business. The bloody stubborn darkside.

Now, although I think that we should all be entitled to voice our opinions I also find it difficult when these opinions directly oppose the stance of the club. It’s difficult arguing against something you spend so much time and effort on, and ultimately it’s a bit of a headf***.

I think it was previously mentioned by Flav on the podcast a few weeks ago that the season ticket smallprint has words along the lines of you must proactively support he club. I really don’t think the club are going to listen to our objections unless they agree with them. They probably wouldn’t even listen if they agreed with them.

Going back to the Star Wars analogy I feel some of the Spurs fans are behaving like some Star Wars obsessives. Attending the conventions, discussing plot holes, claiming they’d be able to do it better themselves. Inventing entirely fictional story arcs because they prefer a bit of ownership to what they are in to.

We are given something to watch, there is no interaction. We told to sit down and now we’re pretty much told to shut up and watch quiet without the drum. Someone’s obviously complained about us throwing popcorn. Even when the latest episodes don’t live up to the hype and the old characters are replaced by newer, more childlike counterparts we can do nothing but view from a distance. We even dress up like our heroes for god sake.

Support the club, love the club, love the football being played, but just don’t be deluded enough to believe we have the power to re-write a script that’s already beenwritten and directed by George Lucas.

The massively strange coincidence is that I actually though of this idea on May 4th, before I even realised it was May 4th, but it just took me a while to put it all together in some kind of organised sense, which was pretty difficult for someone like me.

To summarise the Analogies:
Daniel Levy is George Lucas
Rest of the board + upper management as the darkside
Certain fans are star Wars obsessors
Most fans are just in the resistance movement, striving for a better future
Some fans are even probably stormtroopers
Benoit Assou-Ekotto is probably Jar Jar Binks
Hoddle is obviously Han Solo
Linekar is possibly Luke Skywalker
Hudds as Jabba
Ledley as 3PO
Redknapp as Yoda (because of the face it is)
Taraabt as Anakin
Wenger is DarthMaul
ITKs as Ewoks
I’m not sure where Warwick Davis fits in

I’ve pretty much ran out of characters here.

Just back to reality to put this in standard Queens’English – I completely agree that the drum should be allowed back into WHL, I think it’s a great catalyst for an amazing atmosphere. However, I’m of the opinion that if the club management decide on not having it there then that is their decision and we will not really have any further say in it. Whether you classify yourself as a fan, supporter, follower, customer or whatever (but please never, ever client) it’s fine, but I just think that’s what we’re all going to have to get used to with modern day football.

The force is too strong on this one.

*To any Star Wars uber geeks I apologise for any obvious mistakes with characters or glaring analogies I could/should have made.

HarryG23Author: HarryG23
Twitter: @HarryG23

Not one to pass up a good Star Wars analogy discussion, Reptile_16 had the following to add to the article…

Here’s what I think, take or leave it as you will:

Daniel Levy is George Lucas – ironically, for what you’re saying, this one works (kind-of). You could also have painted him as the ethereal Darth Sidious/Palpatine character, whose motives are ultimately pretty bloody obvious but shrouded in mystery variously.

Rest of the board + upper management as the darkside – This doesn’t work at all, sorry, unless the Dark Side is the Empire or the Regional Governors of the dissolved Galactic Senate, who hold limited power but none really, compared to the Emperor.

Certain fans are star Wars obsessors – yes, I suppose. The parallel falls down here I think because pretty much any Star Wars ‘fan’ cares about the glaring holes in the plot enough to think about it, in much the same way a true Spurs fan has an opinion on Stratford, for example. Your introduction states you’re a big Red Dwarf fan, distancing yourself from Star Wars and ridiculing it means you’re a Gooner, basically.

Most fans are just in the resistance movement, striving for a better future – the ‘Rebel Alliance’, you mean.

Some fans are even probably stormtroopers. Nope. This doesn’t fit with them also being obsessives. Too much mix and match here. Imperial Stormtroopers are all typically born on worlds so far in the interior of the Empire, to generations who have known no different, to basically be bought-in to the Empire by default.

Benoit Assou-Ekotto is probably Jar Jar Binks – er, no, no way. Binks is an annoying useless abhorrent and largely redundant character. If you would describe Benny that way in public, good luck next time you’re at the Lane.

Hoddle is obviously Han Solo – I don’t think so. Hoddle revealed himself as a religious nut with some strange takes on life and after-life. Solo is categorically neither a religious believer nor a faulty thinker. Your best bet here is Alan Sugar.

Linekar is possibly Luke Skywalker – if you foresee he will overthrow the Empire…

Hudds as Jabba – a gangster who holds sway over an entire economy, if you like…

Ledley as 3PO – again, no, please. None of us would portray King as a prissy, self-important and helpless robot. If you’re going for the ‘blown apart, put back together’ metaphor, fair enough, but C-3PO is basically a spectator of all the events in the SW films.

Redknapp as Yoda (because of the face it is) – what, and the 900-year MASTERY of the Force? I don’t think at this point Harry is master of his bowels…

Taraabt as Anakin – the central character around whom the whole story is built, the kid who seeks the all-consuming power of the Dark Side and ultimately destroys his teacher/mentor? I don’t think so.

Wenger is DarthMaul – apprentice to Sidious before Anakin…now we’re getting silly…

ITKs as Ewoks – errrrr….

I’m not sure where Warwick Davis fits in – dude was an Ewok, amongst other things.


All views and opinions expressed in this article are the views and opinions of the writer and do not necessarily represent the views of The Fighting Cock. We offer a platform for fans to commit their views to text and voice their thoughts. Football is a passionate game and as long as the views stay within the parameters of what is acceptable, we encourage people to write, get involved and share their thoughts on the mighty Tottenham Hotspur.


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