Transfers Summer Transfer thread - 2024

[sudoku]

Got a 500g jar of bolognese sauce yesterday for 23p from the Tesco reduced section, all it had was a rip in the label

Click to shrink...

I bought £90 unit in IKEA for £15. One of the screws was in the wrong hole.
Cheap does not always mean poor quality.

 

[LeParisien]

The question wasn't how many women you've shagged fella......

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Imagine how impressed everyone will by the number of overweight women you’ve fucked.

No one asked you.

 

[Stov]

WLB - SC
"I see wolves have just signed a new rw forward happy Thursday peeps"

I assume he's implying that's us getting Neto
and remember...

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More like

 

[Tottenham Massive]

I started this transfer window confident that we would spend big and fill some positions that needed upgrading.

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Mate, we need to break this to you lightly

 

[Kosher Kid]

I started this transfer window confident that we would spend big and fill some positions that needed upgrading. It could still happen, but I am not as confident now.

Click to shrink...

The only position getting filled is the supporters getting it up the arris from ENiC and the miser.

Smashed in for 23 years and counting.

Do the skywalk and enjoy the caberet.

 

[Harrier]

View: https://x.com/FabrizioRomano/status/1806649797987676166?t=KjmDuHZbuQyvL33ee2Q3rQ&s=19

Click to shrink...

I can’t understand any bright young talent wanting to go to that car crash atm!

Must be all about the spondulicks!

 

[McCOYS]

According to some places on the internet we're after a goalkeeper called Joan Garcia from Espanyol.

So looks like if true, Forster is going this time.

 

[Starks]

I can’t understand any bright young talent wanting to go to that car crash atm!

Must be all about the spondulicks!

Click to shrink...

To be fair, he's 26 this year. So he'd probably be the oldest in the line up.

 

[CarrieFi]

Click to shrink...

Thanks. Edited now

 

[Hotspurpaul]

Imagine how impressed everyone will by the number of overweight women you’ve fucked.

No one asked you.

Click to shrink...

 

[Richard Arlison]

I bought £90 unit in IKEA for £15. One of the screws was in the wrong hole.
Cheap does not always mean poor quality.

Click to shrink...

A screw in the wrong hole describes a fair few of our worst signings as well tbf

 

[sudoku]

Spending big money is the answer...

#	Player	Age	Season	Joined	Fee
1	Enzo Fernández Central Midfield	22	22/23	Chelsea Premier League	€121.00m
2	Jack Grealish Left Winger	25	21/22	Man City Premier League	€117.50m
3	Declan Rice Defensive Midfield	24	23/24	Woolwich Premier League	€116.60m
4	Moisés Caicedo Defensive Midfield	21	23/24	Chelsea Premier League	€116.00m
5	Romelu Lukaku Centre-Forward	28	21/22	Chelsea Premier League	€113.00m
6	Paul Pogba Central Midfield	23	16/17	Man Utd Premier League	€105.00m
7	Antony Right Winger	22	22/23	Man Utd Premier League	€95.00m
8	Josko Gvardiol Left-Back	21	23/24	Man City Premier League	€90.00m
9	Harry Maguire Centre-Back	26	19/20	Man Utd Premier League	€87.00m
10	Darwin Núñez Centre-Forward	23	22/23	Liverpool Premier League	€85.00m
11	Jadon Sancho Left Winger	21	21/22	Man Utd Premier League	€85.00m
12	Romelu Lukaku Centre-Forward	24	17/18	Man Utd Premier League	€84.70m
13	Virgil van Dijk Centre-Back	26	17/18	Liverpool Premier League	€84.65m
14	Wesley Fofana Centre-Back	21	22/23	Chelsea Premier League	€80.40m
15	Kai Havertz Attacking Midfield	21	20/21	Chelsea Premier League	€80.00m
16	Nicolas Pépé Right Winger	24	19/20	Woolwich Premier League	€80.00m
17	Kepa Arrizabalaga Goalkeeper	23	18/19	Chelsea Premier League	€80.00m
18	Kevin De Bruyne Attacking Midfield	24	15/16	Man City Premier League	€76.00m
19	Kai Havertz Attacking Midfield	24	23/24	Woolwich Premier League	€75.00m
20	Ángel Di María Right Winger	26	14/15	Man Utd Premier League	€75.00m
21	Rasmus Højlund Centre-Forward	20	23/24	Man Utd Premier League	€73.90m
22	Rúben Dias Centre-Back	23	20/21	Man City Premier League	€71.60m
23	Casemiro Defensive Midfield	30	22/23	Man Utd Premier League	€70.65m
24	Dominik Szoboszlai Central Midfield	22	23/24	Liverpool Premier League	€70.00m
25	Alexander Isak Centre-Forward	22	22/23	Newcastle Premier League	€70.00m
26	Mykhaylo Mudryk Left Winger	22	22/23	Chelsea Premier League	€70.00m
27	Rodri Defensive Midfield	23	19/20	Man City Premier League	€70.00m
28	Riyad Mahrez Right Winger	27	18/19	Man City Premier League	€67.80m
29	Álvaro Morata Centre-Forward	24	17/18	Chelsea Premier League	€66.00m
30	Marc Cucurella Left-Back	24	22/23	Chelsea Premier League	€65.30m
31	Bruno Fernandes Attacking Midfield	25	19/20	Man Utd Premier League	€65.00m
32	João Cancelo Right-Back	25	19/20	Man City Premier League	€65.00m
33	Aymeric Laporte Centre-Back	23	17/18	Man City Premier League	€65.00m
34	Mason Mount Attacking Midfield	24	23/24	Man Utd Premier League	€64.20m
35	Sandro Tonali Defensive Midfield	23	23/24	Newcastle Premier League	€64.00m
36	Christian Pulisic Right Winger	20	18/19	Chelsea Premier League	€64.00m
37	Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang Centre-Forward	28	17/18	Woolwich Premier League	€63.75m
38	Raheem Sterling Left Winger	20	15/16	Man City Premier League	€63.70m
39	Alisson Goalkeeper	25	18/19	Liverpool Premier League	€62.50m
40	Roméo Lavia Defensive Midfield	19	23/24	Chelsea Premier League	€62.10m
41	Matheus Nunes Central Midfield	25	23/24	Man City Premier League	€62.00m
42	Tanguy Ndombélé Central Midfield	22	19/20	Tottenham Premier League	€62.00m
43	Christopher Nkunku Attacking Midfield	25	23/24	Chelsea Premier League	€60.00m
44	Jérémy Doku Left Winger	21	23/24	Man City Premier League	€60.00m
45	Erling Haaland Centre-Forward	21	22/23	Man City Premier League	€60.00m
46	Naby Keïta Central Midfield	23	18/19	Liverpool Premier League	€60.00m
47	Anthony Martial Centre-Forward	19	15/16	Man Utd Premier League	€60.00m
48	Fred Central Midfield	25	18/19	Man Utd Premier League	€59.00m
49	Ben White Right-Back	23	21/22	Woolwich Premier League	€58.50m
50	Fernando Torres Centre-Forward	26	10/11	Chelsea Premier League	€58.50m
51	Richarlison Centre-Forward	25	22/23	Tottenham Premier League	€58.00m
52	Benjamin Mendy Left-Back	23	17/18	Man City Premier League	€57.50m
53	Lisandro Martínez Centre-Back	24	22/23	Man Utd Premier League	€57.37m
54	Jorginho Defensive Midfield	26	18/19	Chelsea Premier League	€57.00m
55	Raheem Sterling Left Winger	27	22/23	Chelsea Premier League	€56.20m
56	John Stones Centre-Back	22	16/17	Man City Premier League	€55.60m
57	Moussa Diaby Right Winger	24	23/24	Aston Villa Premier League	€55.00m
58	Brennan Johnson Right Winger	22	23/24	Tottenham Premier League	€55.00m
59	Aaron Wan-Bissaka Right-Back	21	19/20	Man Utd Premier League	€55.00m
60	Timo Werner Centre-Forward	24	20/21	Chelsea Premier League	€53.00m
61	Alexandre Lacazette Centre-Forward	26	17/18	Woolwich Premier League	€53.00m
62	Kyle Walker Right-Back	27	17/18	Man City Premier League	€52.70m
63	Gabriel Jesus Centre-Forward	25	22/23	Woolwich Premier League	€52.20m
64	Cristian Romero Centre-Back	24	22/23	Tottenham Premier League	€52.00m
65	Leroy Sané Right Winger	20	16/17	Man City Premier League	€52.00m
66	André Onana Goalkeeper	27	23/24	Man Utd Premier League	€50.20m
67	Ben Chilwell Left-Back	23	20/21	Chelsea Premier League	€50.20m
68	Matheus Cunha Centre-Forward	24	23/24	Wolves Premier League	€50.00m
69	Luis Díaz Left Winger	25	21/22	Liverpool Premier League	€50.00m
70	Thomas Partey Defensive Midfield	27	20/21	Woolwich Premier League	€50.00m
71	Sébastien Haller Centre-Forward	25	19/20	West Ham Premier League	€50.00m
72	Bernardo Silva Attacking Midfield	22	17/18	Man City Premier League	€50.00m
73	Gylfi Sigurdsson Attacking Midfield	27	17/18	Everton Premier League	€49.40m
74	Kalvin Phillips Defensive Midfield	26	22/23	Man City Premier League	€49.00m
75	Leroy Sané Right Winger	24	20/21	Bayern Munich Bundesliga	€49.00m
76	Cole Palmer Attacking Midfield	21	23/24	Chelsea Premier League	€47.00m
77	Mesut Özil Attacking Midfield	24	13/14	Woolwich Premier League	€47.00m
78	Christian Benteke Centre-Forward	24	15/16	Liverpool Premier League	€46.50m
79	James Maddison Attacking Midfield	26	23/24	Tottenham Premier League	€46.30m
80	Rio Ferdinand Centre-Back	23	02/03	Man Utd Premier League	€46.00m
81	Anthony Gordon Left Winger	21	22/23	Newcastle Premier League	€45.60m
82	Nathan Aké Centre-Back	25	20/21	Man City Premier League	€45.30m
83	Axel Disasi Centre-Back	25	23/24	Chelsea Premier League	€45.00m
84	Matheus Nunes Central Midfield	23	22/23	Wolves Premier League	€45.00m

 

[Tottenham Massive]

According to some places on the internet we're after a goalkeeper called Joan Garcia from Espanyol.

So looks like if true, Forster is going this time.

Click to shrink...

Joan, you say. .

 

[skywalker68]

The ethos of ENIC and Daniel Levy is to make as much financial gain as possible from the football club.

They don’t have an ethos on the football side of things. Absolutely none. They’re shysters who put on a facade that they have a philosophy and ethos as you suggest by occasionally throwing out buzz word statements like “we want a coach that can play free flowing attacking football” before appointing Nuno, or “we have our Tottenham back” after we won a couple of games, to make the more gullable of the fans believe they actually have some sort of vision. They don’t.

The old chestnut that they try and put out there that we are a club that signs exclusively young talented players is absolute dung too.
We sign predominantly players that are cheap. If a player is not a young and talented player we have no issue signing him as long as he isn’t very expensive. It’s a classic way of trying to justify continuously signing players that are not at a level that are really going to turn us into challengers. “Oh we don’t sign stars, we make them. It’s the Tottenham way.” Utter horseshit.

Under Jol, Harry, AVB, Poch, Mourinho, Conte, Nuno (what a collection of different managers that is btw, for an ownership that supposedly has an “ethos”) we signed numerous players mid/late 20’s/early 30s. Why? Because we could “do a deal.” Ethos went out the window.

Levy and ENIC have no footballing ethos or philosophy. They plod along on the football side of things chopping and changing from different methods and regimes and whenever things go tits up, Levy comes out with a buzz word statement, “we need to get back to the Tottenham way.” and bobs your uncle he gets a cohort of fans back onside again.
Rinse and repeat.

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That's exactly the ethos, but they are fucking good at it, they have managed to convince many that the club is on the road to glory for 24 years

 

[Shadydan]

The ethos of ENIC and Daniel Levy is to make as much financial gain as possible from the football club.

They don’t have an ethos on the football side of things. Absolutely none. They’re shysters who put on a facade that they have a philosophy and ethos as you suggest by occasionally throwing out buzz word statements like “we want a coach that can play free flowing attacking football” before appointing Nuno, or “we have our Tottenham back” after we won a couple of games, to make the more gullable of the fans believe they actually have some sort of vision. They don’t.

The old chestnut that they try and put out there that we are a club that signs exclusively young talented players is absolute dung too.
We sign predominantly players that are cheap. If a player is not a young and talented player we have no issue signing him as long as he isn’t very expensive. It’s a classic way of trying to justify continuously signing players that are not at a level that are really going to turn us into challengers. “Oh we don’t sign stars, we make them. It’s the Tottenham way.” Utter horseshit.

Under Jol, Harry, AVB, Poch, Mourinho, Conte, Nuno (what a collection of different managers that is btw, for an ownership that supposedly has an “ethos”) we signed numerous players mid/late 20’s/early 30s. Why? Because we could “do a deal.” Ethos went out the window.

Levy and ENIC have no footballing ethos or philosophy. They plod along on the football side of things chopping and changing from different methods and regimes and whenever things go tits up, Levy comes out with a buzz word statement, “we need to get back to the Tottenham way.” and bobs your uncle he gets a cohort of fans back onside again.
Rinse and repeat.

Click to shrink...

Good post, you're clearly very passionate about this but I don't agree, for the most part they've hired attacking coaches, the times when they've hired coaches who have gone against their ethos of attacking football is because they wanted to win but their execution was and has always been poor. All these coaches had a history of winning (Ramos, Conte, Jose - Nuno was hired because they fucked up the manager search, panicked and thus wasn't by design).

If you look at the history we've always been a club who has worked better getting players in who are young, have re-sale value and can improve, never said ENIC were perfect btw but all this framing of them being shyster is laughable. Owners like Mike Ashley who have 0 intention to improve or have 0 ambition or owners like the Glazers who are parasites who leech of the club are shysters. ENIC have improved the club, they're just haven't done it in the priority that fans want.

As of now though I look at the club in a healthy position, financially, infrastructure, first team, academy etc...this have been their plan but they've just made a complete pigs ear of it.

Anyway ENIC thread >>>>>

 

[Shadydan]

The only position getting filled is the supporters getting it up the arris from ENiC and the miser.

Smashed in for 23 years and counting.

Do the skywalk and enjoy the caberet.

Click to shrink...

Didn't you go to a game and spend money in the stadium a few months ago?

 

[Kane you believe it]

View: https://x.com/FabrizioRomano/status/1806649797987676166?t=KjmDuHZbuQyvL33ee2Q3rQ&s=19

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90

 

[TottsAmazeballs]

Spending big money is the answer...

#	Player	Age	Season	Joined	Fee
1	Enzo Fernández Central Midfield	22	22/23	Chelsea Premier League	€121.00m
2	Jack Grealish Left Winger	25	21/22	Man City Premier League	€117.50m
3	Declan Rice Defensive Midfield	24	23/24	Woolwich Premier League	€116.60m
4	Moisés Caicedo Defensive Midfield	21	23/24	Chelsea Premier League	€116.00m
5	Romelu Lukaku Centre-Forward	28	21/22	Chelsea Premier League	€113.00m
6	Paul Pogba Central Midfield	23	16/17	Man Utd Premier League	€105.00m
7	Antony Right Winger	22	22/23	Man Utd Premier League	€95.00m
8	Josko Gvardiol Left-Back	21	23/24	Man City Premier League	€90.00m
9	Harry Maguire Centre-Back	26	19/20	Man Utd Premier League	€87.00m
10	Darwin Núñez Centre-Forward	23	22/23	Liverpool Premier League	€85.00m
11	Jadon Sancho Left Winger	21	21/22	Man Utd Premier League	€85.00m
12	Romelu Lukaku Centre-Forward	24	17/18	Man Utd Premier League	€84.70m
13	Virgil van Dijk Centre-Back	26	17/18	Liverpool Premier League	€84.65m
14	Wesley Fofana Centre-Back	21	22/23	Chelsea Premier League	€80.40m
15	Kai Havertz Attacking Midfield	21	20/21	Chelsea Premier League	€80.00m
16	Nicolas Pépé Right Winger	24	19/20	Woolwich Premier League	€80.00m
17	Kepa Arrizabalaga Goalkeeper	23	18/19	Chelsea Premier League	€80.00m
18	Kevin De Bruyne Attacking Midfield	24	15/16	Man City Premier League	€76.00m
19	Kai Havertz Attacking Midfield	24	23/24	Woolwich Premier League	€75.00m
20	Ángel Di María Right Winger	26	14/15	Man Utd Premier League	€75.00m
21	Rasmus Højlund Centre-Forward	20	23/24	Man Utd Premier League	€73.90m
22	Rúben Dias Centre-Back	23	20/21	Man City Premier League	€71.60m
23	Casemiro Defensive Midfield	30	22/23	Man Utd Premier League	€70.65m
24	Dominik Szoboszlai Central Midfield	22	23/24	Liverpool Premier League	€70.00m
25	Alexander Isak Centre-Forward	22	22/23	Newcastle Premier League	€70.00m
26	Mykhaylo Mudryk Left Winger	22	22/23	Chelsea Premier League	€70.00m
27	Rodri Defensive Midfield	23	19/20	Man City Premier League	€70.00m
28	Riyad Mahrez Right Winger	27	18/19	Man City Premier League	€67.80m
29	Álvaro Morata Centre-Forward	24	17/18	Chelsea Premier League	€66.00m
30	Marc Cucurella Left-Back	24	22/23	Chelsea Premier League	€65.30m
31	Bruno Fernandes Attacking Midfield	25	19/20	Man Utd Premier League	€65.00m
32	João Cancelo Right-Back	25	19/20	Man City Premier League	€65.00m
33	Aymeric Laporte Centre-Back	23	17/18	Man City Premier League	€65.00m
34	Mason Mount Attacking Midfield	24	23/24	Man Utd Premier League	€64.20m
35	Sandro Tonali Defensive Midfield	23	23/24	Newcastle Premier League	€64.00m
36	Christian Pulisic Right Winger	20	18/19	Chelsea Premier League	€64.00m
37	Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang Centre-Forward	28	17/18	Woolwich Premier League	€63.75m
38	Raheem Sterling Left Winger	20	15/16	Man City Premier League	€63.70m
39	Alisson Goalkeeper	25	18/19	Liverpool Premier League	€62.50m
40	Roméo Lavia Defensive Midfield	19	23/24	Chelsea Premier League	€62.10m
41	Matheus Nunes Central Midfield	25	23/24	Man City Premier League	€62.00m
42	Tanguy Ndombélé Central Midfield	22	19/20	Tottenham Premier League	€62.00m
43	Christopher Nkunku Attacking Midfield	25	23/24	Chelsea Premier League	€60.00m
44	Jérémy Doku Left Winger	21	23/24	Man City Premier League	€60.00m
45	Erling Haaland Centre-Forward	21	22/23	Man City Premier League	€60.00m
46	Naby Keïta Central Midfield	23	18/19	Liverpool Premier League	€60.00m
47	Anthony Martial Centre-Forward	19	15/16	Man Utd Premier League	€60.00m
48	Fred Central Midfield	25	18/19	Man Utd Premier League	€59.00m
49	Ben White Right-Back	23	21/22	Woolwich Premier League	€58.50m
50	Fernando Torres Centre-Forward	26	10/11	Chelsea Premier League	€58.50m
51	Richarlison Centre-Forward	25	22/23	Tottenham Premier League	€58.00m
52	Benjamin Mendy Left-Back	23	17/18	Man City Premier League	€57.50m
53	Lisandro Martínez Centre-Back	24	22/23	Man Utd Premier League	€57.37m
54	Jorginho Defensive Midfield	26	18/19	Chelsea Premier League	€57.00m
55	Raheem Sterling Left Winger	27	22/23	Chelsea Premier League	€56.20m
56	John Stones Centre-Back	22	16/17	Man City Premier League	€55.60m
57	Moussa Diaby Right Winger	24	23/24	Aston Villa Premier League	€55.00m
58	Brennan Johnson Right Winger	22	23/24	Tottenham Premier League	€55.00m
59	Aaron Wan-Bissaka Right-Back	21	19/20	Man Utd Premier League	€55.00m
60	Timo Werner Centre-Forward	24	20/21	Chelsea Premier League	€53.00m
61	Alexandre Lacazette Centre-Forward	26	17/18	Woolwich Premier League	€53.00m
62	Kyle Walker Right-Back	27	17/18	Man City Premier League	€52.70m
63	Gabriel Jesus Centre-Forward	25	22/23	Woolwich Premier League	€52.20m
64	Cristian Romero Centre-Back	24	22/23	Tottenham Premier League	€52.00m
65	Leroy Sané Right Winger	20	16/17	Man City Premier League	€52.00m
66	André Onana Goalkeeper	27	23/24	Man Utd Premier League	€50.20m
67	Ben Chilwell Left-Back	23	20/21	Chelsea Premier League	€50.20m
68	Matheus Cunha Centre-Forward	24	23/24	Wolves Premier League	€50.00m
69	Luis Díaz Left Winger	25	21/22	Liverpool Premier League	€50.00m
70	Thomas Partey Defensive Midfield	27	20/21	Woolwich Premier League	€50.00m
71	Sébastien Haller Centre-Forward	25	19/20	West Ham Premier League	€50.00m
72	Bernardo Silva Attacking Midfield	22	17/18	Man City Premier League	€50.00m
73	Gylfi Sigurdsson Attacking Midfield	27	17/18	Everton Premier League	€49.40m
74	Kalvin Phillips Defensive Midfield	26	22/23	Man City Premier League	€49.00m
75	Leroy Sané Right Winger	24	20/21	Bayern Munich Bundesliga	€49.00m
76	Cole Palmer Attacking Midfield	21	23/24	Chelsea Premier League	€47.00m
77	Mesut Özil Attacking Midfield	24	13/14	Woolwich Premier League	€47.00m
78	Christian Benteke Centre-Forward	24	15/16	Liverpool Premier League	€46.50m
79	James Maddison Attacking Midfield	26	23/24	Tottenham Premier League	€46.30m
80	Rio Ferdinand Centre-Back	23	02/03	Man Utd Premier League	€46.00m
81	Anthony Gordon Left Winger	21	22/23	Newcastle Premier League	€45.60m
82	Nathan Aké Centre-Back	25	20/21	Man City Premier League	€45.30m
83	Axel Disasi Centre-Back	25	23/24	Chelsea Premier League	€45.00m
84	Matheus Nunes Central Midfield	23	22/23	Wolves Premier League	€45.00m

Click to shrink...

Correlation is not causation.

 

[sudoku]

Correlation is not causation.

Click to shrink...

Richarlison	50
Johnson	45
Romero	42.5
Ndombele	42.5
Lo Celso	41
Maddison	40
Porro	39
Sanchez	36
Kulusevski	33
Gil	30
vd Ven	30
Sissoko	30
Reguilon	27.5
Bergwijn	26
Sessegnon	25
Bissouma	25
Lamela	25
Aurier	23
Lucas	22
Royal	21.5

 

[Richard Arlison]

View: https://x.com/spursitkhub/status/1806691603341357134?s=46&t=fbqxNuG9CT4qTaiJx8mBjg

Big time CM talent.

Romero would be happy