LET'S CHANGE THIS RULE.

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If a goal is scored with an attempt made within the 'd', it is a doal. Doals count double if the game ends in a draw or counts as a triple-score word in scrabble.
 
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A few rules I'd change or enforce properly.

- Shorter match with time done on only when the ball is in play.
- Ridiculously cynical fouls when the other team are on the counter should be a red card.
- Or sin bins for certain yellows, cynical fouls, time wasting etc.
- Consistency over shirt holding/grappling in penalty area.

Even when we play shit and draw or lose, there's nothing more frustrating than Ben Foster spending 30 minutes not taking goal kicks for the ref only to book him in the 92nd minute and somehow there only being 3 mins stoppage time despite 2 injuries, 6 subs and constant time wasting.
 
I like the Sin bin for professional fouls. Mahrez did a horrible pull-back on a rare break-away by Sheffield Weds the other day. Should be 10 in the bin for stuff like that. He wasn't the last man but City were light at the back and it killed the move.
 
Current ridiculous handball rule for goals has got to be scrapped asap.

Players diving should be given lengthy bans - only way to eradicate this feigning bullshit
 
Home fans should be given "You're Playing Crap" electronic voting handsets, and all players should be wired up. Any player who gets more than 1,000 'you're crap' votes receives a severe electric shock to the testicles, then he starts from zero again. Watch out Dele.

A random home fan should be given a special handset for the away team, where he can paralyse the opposition player of his choice for 10 seconds, once every ten minutes.

Electrocution is the future.
 
Each manager should be given a scroll of mystic prunes*.
They can use these once a match to summon a daemon to influence the game.

* Mystic prunes are similar to mystic runes, only more powerful. When the oppo see what's summoned, they shit themselves.
 
Force the opposition into committing foul after foul for dangerously high feet, by fielding a team consisting entirely of dwarves.
Are you the reincarnation of Bill Veeck?

 
Fans are allowed to call any player/manager they like shit, or talk about their families... but they have to queue up and look the player in the eye while doing it.
 
Right no 1 PET hate is when a player takes the ball into the corner, just to waste time. Sometimes, having won a corner, they just stay in that corner. It usually includes one or more opponents kicking at the ankles of that player.

This should be a straight free kick to the defence.
So now with a ball in play, we are going to give free kicks because we don’t like what the player is doing with the ball?
Worse than VaR
 
Right no 1 PET hate is when a player takes the ball into the corner, just to waste time. Sometimes, having won a corner, they just stay in that corner. It usually includes one or more opponents kicking at the ankles of that player.

This should be a straight free kick to the defence.
I disagree.
It's no different from taking a newspaper into the khazi at 4:30 when you finish at 5 for a 20 minute sit down.
And you wouldn't want to get punished for that now, would you?...
 
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