Would you dip your cock in Levy's pint if nobody was looking?

[RomanzoCriminale]

Had a lunatic mate who shoved a bottle of beer up his bum when a cunt went to the toilet.

- guy being a total dick to loads of people, then goes off to the bog

- mate stick his beer bottle up his arse and puts bottle back on the table.

- dickhead comes out of bathroom and drinks beers, looks round, smells something and says ‘’has someone farted’’. About 15 people trying not to laugh.

I don’t condone what my mate did but normally he would have just beat up the guy as he is a bit of a nutter so this was probably for the best.

He would have stuck his penis in the beer yes. As for me no I am a gentleman don’t you know.

Similar story to this albeit not done with intent.

Was at a mate's mum's 40th in a function room at a bar, me and mates probably about 17/18 at the time.....

Later on in the night after many pints, i went to get another beer, it was a pretty small bar, in a corner of the room, which at the time had about 20 people before me waiting to be served. Had been stood there for about 20 mins waiting and realised i was busting for a pee. Fortunately there was an empty pint glass on the bar so rather than lose my place at the bar, decided i could probably get away with peeing in the glass and then get served.

Started peeing in the glass and realised i must have drank too much as it was soon full to the brim and i was still busting, so had to leave the bar with the pint pot full to the brim. Walked past the table where we were all sat and for some reason i put the pint pot on the table and said don't anyone drink that.

Went to the loo and finished my business and then on the way back to the bar passed our table and saw the pint glass was about 2/3rds full. I asked 'who drank that?' and my mate's girlfriend said sorry it was me, was something wrong with it, it was a bit warm.........

Spent the next 20 minutes stood at the bar with another mate waiting to get served, both of us in tears of laughter after i'd told him what had happened.

Later on i threw up in the landlords shoes that were in a cupboard in the hallway near the toilets and promptly got thrown out.



- Given the chance I would gladly piss in Levy's pint and as a bonus just for you lot i'll throw up in his shoes.

 

[Tomo]

Similar story to this albeit not done with intent.

Was at a mate's mum's 40th in a function room at a bar, me and mates probably about 17/18 at the time.....

Later on in the night after many pints, i went to get another beer, it was a pretty small bar, in a corner of the room, which at the time had about 20 people before me waiting to be served. Had been stood there for about 20 mins waiting and realised i was busting for a pee. Fortunately there was an empty pint glass on the bar so rather than lose my place at the bar, decided i could probably get away with peeing in the glass and then get served.

Started peeing in the glass and realised i must have drank too much as it was soon full to the brim and i was still busting, so had to leave the bar with the pint pot full to the brim. Walked past the table where we were all sat and for some reason i put the pint pot on the table and said don't anyone drink that.

Went to the loo and finished my business and then on the way back to the bar passed our table and saw the pint glass was about 2/3rds full. I asked 'who drank that?' and my mate's girlfriend said sorry it was me, was something wrong with it, it was a bit warm.........

Spent the next 20 minutes stood at the bar with another mate waiting to get served, both of us in tears of laughter after i'd told him what had happened.

Later on i threw up in the landlords shoes that were in a cupboard in the hallway near the toilets and promptly got thrown out.



- Given the chance I would gladly piss in Levy's pint and as a bonus just for you lot i'll throw up in his shoes.

My god that girl must have had no taste buds, either that or the beer and piss at that pub just tasted the same.

 

[Murphy]

Similar story to this albeit not done with intent.

Was at a mate's mum's 40th in a function room at a bar, me and mates probably about 17/18 at the time.....

Later on in the night after many pints, i went to get another beer, it was a pretty small bar, in a corner of the room, which at the time had about 20 people before me waiting to be served. Had been stood there for about 20 mins waiting and realised i was busting for a pee. Fortunately there was an empty pint glass on the bar so rather than lose my place at the bar, decided i could probably get away with peeing in the glass and then get served.

Started peeing in the glass and realised i must have drank too much as it was soon full to the brim and i was still busting, so had to leave the bar with the pint pot full to the brim. Walked past the table where we were all sat and for some reason i put the pint pot on the table and said don't anyone drink that.

Went to the loo and finished my business and then on the way back to the bar passed our table and saw the pint glass was about 2/3rds full. I asked 'who drank that?' and my mate's girlfriend said sorry it was me, was something wrong with it, it was a bit warm.........

Spent the next 20 minutes stood at the bar with another mate waiting to get served, both of us in tears of laughter after i'd told him what had happened.

Later on i threw up in the landlords shoes that were in a cupboard in the hallway near the toilets and promptly got thrown out.



- Given the chance I would gladly piss in Levy's pint and as a bonus just for you lot i'll throw up in his shoes.

You saw that on Fesshole didn't you

 

[RomanzoCriminale]

You saw that on Fesshole didn't you

Not sure what Fesshole is sorry, but it's a funny from the past that always gets dragged up when we're out, once in a while even now years later.

 

[Murphy]

Not sure what Fesshole is sorry, but it's a funny from the past that always gets dragged up when we're out, once in a while even now years later.

It's a Twitter account where people anonymously confess things that may or may not have happened for funnies.