Ive mentioned this before on the board but the a mate and I went to the 5-2 mauling at the Emirates (the first one)...(that's horrible to have to type) couldn't get tickets but I know someone who works for Woolwich and thought it would be a good idea to sit with the Woolwich fans
If course we go 2-0 up and are trying our hardest to not cheer when the goals go on (this involves me sitting down quickly, putting my head in my hands and screaming a muffled YEAAAH!).
We have a special breed of Gooner idiot sitting next to us who has brought his girlfriend who clearly isn't interested, ginger kid who thinks he was from the only way is Essex - horrible.
Anyway, we had to sit there whilst we hear this ginger kid and others around us hurl abuse at the Spurs fans, some of it anti Jewish, which, up close was pretty nasty.
The goals start flying in, this time I let out a FUUUUCK but try and make it sound like I was admiring the quality of RVP bending it round Brad.
As we sat there, the score 5-2, seeing Redknapp looking more lost than sammsypurs at an argumentative anonymous meeting
we decided to leave, we just couldn't take it anymore. As we exited the stinking cess pit of a stadium we heard the crowd cheer- Parker had seen red. It was the worst day ever.
My mate was so devastated he had to go home. For some reason I decided to call an Woolwich supporting mate of mine and see if he fancied a beer after he got out of the ground.
I ended up getting completely smashed as he bought me too many sympathy drinks. I then found myself at a Black Culture night in a club on Leicester Square where his friend was performing.
Of course, there were comedians and all sorts warming up the crowd and being one of the few white people in there I stood out and was immediately invited up on stage where I had to explain what I did for a living (I was working on Channel 4 Racing at the time). You can imagine my drunken horror when I was told (once on stage) it was a dance contest. So the two other people on stage went first and busted out some pretty mean moves, and the girl was grinding hard on the other guy drawing cheers and whistles from the crowd. If I wasn't so drunk I probably would have flat refused to go up but as it came to my turn to dance I suddenly realised...I cant.
So there I was, on stage in front of a sea of people waiting for a rap battle and all I could think of was to hop around the stage pretending to be a race house whilst the DJ played this
I basically recreated the routine with added horse riding impersonation.
Cue hysteria from the crowd and I won the contest by way of standing ovation winning more drinks for me and my friends.
Don't remember how I got home but woke up, puked up and had to take the next day off work with one of the worst hangovers I have ever known.
Sorry, I know TL
R but I got carried away typing.