Premier League star arrested on suspicion of rape

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Shadydan said:
Why do people keep saying this, she needs to take accountability for the fact that she chose to stay with him, marry him and bring a kid into the world, why would you do that if your partner is an abuser?

I really don't want to here about Stockholm Syndrome, her motivation is clearly money and security (ironically)

They both deserve each other as far as I'm concerned.
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I've dealt with loads of domestics and the partner wanting to stay is extremely common and I find it weird you think you know her motivations based on very little. Partners stay because of fear, often because they're told they won't find anybody else/aren't good enough/nobody will touch you again, or because the partner has managed to gain control of every part of their life and that can be terrifying to walk away from. There's actually a crime for that called control & coercion. Abusive partners aren't just physical, they destroy the abused partners self-esteem and sense of individuality.

You don't know. Don't pretend you do.
 
Raumdeuterz said:
I've dealt with loads of domestics and the partner wanting to stay is extremely common and I find it weird you think you know her motivations based on very little. Partners stay because of fear, often because they're told they won't find anybody else/aren't good enough/nobody will touch you again, or because the partner has managed to gain control of every part of their life and that can be terrifying to walk away from. There's actually a crime for that called control & coercion. Abusive partners aren't just physical, they destroy the abused partners self-esteem and sense of individuality.

You don't know. Don't pretend you do.
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Staying with an abused partner is one thing but marrying them and bringing a kid into the world in an abused relationship is another - that isn't normal behavior as much as you want to excuse her, she needs to take some sort of accountability.
 
Raumdeuterz said:
I've dealt with loads of domestics and the partner wanting to stay is extremely common and I find it weird you think you know her motivations based on very little. Partners stay because of fear, often because they're told they won't find anybody else/aren't good enough/nobody will touch you again, or because the partner has managed to gain control of every part of their life and that can be terrifying to walk away from. There's actually a crime for that called control & coercion. Abusive partners aren't just physical, they destroy the abused partners self-esteem and sense of individuality.

You don't know. Don't pretend you do.
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Absolutely spot on.

Abusers systematically destroy their victims' sense of self.

Self-worth, self-confidence, self-esteem - all of it.

Watched my ma go through this with someone who ended up stealing a lot of her money - she wasn't in it for anything.

Shadydan Shadydan you're making assumptions and without the facts, it's pretty fucking poor to start having a go at a victim of mental and physical abuse.
 
Shadydan said:
Staying with an abused partner is one thing but marrying them and bringing a kid into the world in an abused relationship is another - that isn't normal behavior as much as you want to excuse her, she needs to take some sort of accountability.
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It is quite common behaviour actually - perhaps you could educate yourself a little bit more on this before making assumptions.
 
Shadydan said:
Staying with an abused partner is one thing but marrying them and bringing a kid into the world in an abused relationship is another - that isn't normal behavior as much as you want to excuse her, she needs to take some sort of accountability.
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That happens all the time and there are so many cases where the partner feels completely trapped and the abuser takes away contraceptives, forces them to keep the baby, takes away credit cards etc. And then makes them feel like they'd be lost outside the relationship.

It MIGHT not be the case here but I'm not going to make assumptions about somebody who was raped & abused when I haven't had a single conversation with her and have never seen her relationship behind closed doors. You'd be shocked how deep abuse goes with domestic issues.

There's actually a lady who came and gave a talk to us so we could deal with domestics better. Annoyingly I can't remember her name but her story was heartbreaking. She had a child with the abuser because he forced her to have it, and then was psychologically breaking her down/torturing her every single day and it took her years and years to gain the courage to leave.

You don't know with this girl. None of us on here do.
 
Raumdeuterz said:
That happens all the time and there are so many cases where the partner feels completely trapped and the abuser takes away contraceptives, forces them to keep the baby, takes away credit cards etc. And then makes them feel like they'd be lost outside the relationship.

It MIGHT not be the case here but I'm not going to make assumptions about somebody who was raped & abused when I haven't had a single conversation with her and have never seen her relationship behind closed doors. You'd be shocked how deep abuse goes with domestic issues.

There's actually a lady who came and gave a talk to us so we could deal with domestics better. Annoyingly I can't remember her name but her story was heartbreaking. She had a child with the abuser because he forced her to have it, and then was psychologically breaking her down/torturing her every single day and it took her years and years to gain the courage to leave.

You don't know with this girl. None of us on here do.
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Fair enough.
 
Raf said:
So they’re still maintaining that they have secret evidence that magically exonerates him but don’t want to show us.
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didn't a couple of your MP's come out against Greenwood. Would such an evidence exist, one would think they would have caught a whiff of it and wouldn't have stuck their necks out
 
Spurs_in_Pune said:
didn't a couple of your MP's come out against Greenwood. Would such an evidence exist, one would think they would have caught a whiff of it and wouldn't have stuck their necks out
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Not only that, but surely Greenwood would want this evidence to be put out there to clear his name.
 
dudu said:
Absolutely spot on.

Abusers systematically destroy their victims' sense of self.

Self-worth, self-confidence, self-esteem - all of it.

Watched my ma go through this with someone who ended up stealing a lot of her money - she wasn't in it for anything.

Shadydan Shadydan you're making assumptions and without the facts, it's pretty fucking poor to start having a go at a victim of mental and physical abuse.
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Also when he dad came out with a statement that was basically don’t rock the boat he is rich doesn’t sound like she has much of a family to fall back on.
 
Tomo said:
Also when he dad came out with a statement that was basically don’t rock the boat he is rich doesn’t sound like she has much of a family to fall back on.
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Happens all the time. A lot in religious families where divorce etc is seen as sinful and family members pressure those being absused to stay in the relationship so the family can save face.

Makes me quite upset
 
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