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Media MERSON
- Thread starter paddy hotspur
- Start date
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Chelsea's issue is the number of teams between them and the top 4 - it's impossible for them to make ground on everyone above them every week as one team losing means another is winning.
I think this is relevant when there's 10 games left but they have what, 25? Sooner or later they'll get out of their slump and start winning again. It's more a matter of when it happens, as to how high they climb.
I think it's going to be beyond them to win the league from here but top 4 wouldn't be a great surprise.
What a fucking shitcunt.
Predicted a draw for this weekend but, "wouldn't be surprised if Chelsea won."
Fucker
Fucker
Just found this. Me and Hawk enjoying a few after dinner cocktails. Thought you'd like a pic of your favorite announcer!
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the picture isn't showing up in my phone (it's meant to be)Just found this. Me and Hawk enjoying a few after dinner cocktails. Thought you'd like a pic of your favorite announcer!
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‘Football expert’ Paul Merson writes…
* On Manchester United: ‘The easy thing is to keep clean sheets, but you’ve got to score at the other end.’
Prediction: 1-1. Not that bloody easy, then.
* On Tottenham: ‘I think Spurs are getting into that mould at the moment, they’re maybe a tad tired, and they look to be going out with the attitude of making sure they don’t lose the game before they go out to win the game.’
Prediction: 3-0. Of course.
* On Everton: ‘I think they’re better suited away from home. I know they’ve only won twice away this season, but they do create a lot of chances.’
Need we even tell you that Everton have picked up fewer points, scored fewer goals and created fewer chances (a difference of around two shots per game) away from home? Thought not.
* ‘Sunderland are probably looking at this and seeing it as must-win after the defeat at Woolwich, but Sam Allardyce is a fantastic manager, different class and will do the job regardless.’
Regardless of what? We’ve said it before and we’ll say it again: Don’t just write down everything he says; sometimes it’s gibberish only intelligible to similar, largely redundant life forces.
Mediawatch: A message from Ryan Giggs? - Football365
* On Manchester United: ‘The easy thing is to keep clean sheets, but you’ve got to score at the other end.’
Prediction: 1-1. Not that bloody easy, then.
* On Tottenham: ‘I think Spurs are getting into that mould at the moment, they’re maybe a tad tired, and they look to be going out with the attitude of making sure they don’t lose the game before they go out to win the game.’
Prediction: 3-0. Of course.
* On Everton: ‘I think they’re better suited away from home. I know they’ve only won twice away this season, but they do create a lot of chances.’
Need we even tell you that Everton have picked up fewer points, scored fewer goals and created fewer chances (a difference of around two shots per game) away from home? Thought not.
* ‘Sunderland are probably looking at this and seeing it as must-win after the defeat at Woolwich, but Sam Allardyce is a fantastic manager, different class and will do the job regardless.’
Regardless of what? We’ve said it before and we’ll say it again: Don’t just write down everything he says; sometimes it’s gibberish only intelligible to similar, largely redundant life forces.
Mediawatch: A message from Ryan Giggs? - Football365
I only got to play on Hackney marshes yet my spermatozoa know more about football than that dick face.
He seems to think that Chelsea have a shot in signing Kane.
"They need to sign a striker to put pressure on Diego Costa, who’s been awful...
But imagine what having some real competition from a top-drawer centre-forward would do for him. That’s why I think they have got to go for Harry Kane.
Chelsea can’t sign Jamie Vardy. He’s 28. He’s done great this season but he’s not a Chelsea player.
But Kane would be a perfect fit. He’s big and strong, he scores goals and he’s got a football brain. He would fit right in at Chelsea."
"They need to sign a striker to put pressure on Diego Costa, who’s been awful...
But imagine what having some real competition from a top-drawer centre-forward would do for him. That’s why I think they have got to go for Harry Kane.
Chelsea can’t sign Jamie Vardy. He’s 28. He’s done great this season but he’s not a Chelsea player.
But Kane would be a perfect fit. He’s big and strong, he scores goals and he’s got a football brain. He would fit right in at Chelsea."
The living years
Mediawatch has seen ‘Merson on Manchester United’ piece far, far too late to do it justice but one thing deserves a wider audience:
* ‘I’d have Darren Fletcher all day long. Sir Alex Ferguson used to play him in all the big matches, going up against Patrick Vieira when they had their battles with Woolwich, and he never had a bad game. It’s still the same for him at West Brom.’
Note: Patrick Vieira left Woolwich in 2005; Fletcher last played 20-plus PL games for Manchester United in 2010/11.
He seems to think that Chelsea have a shot in signing Kane.
"They need to sign a striker to put pressure on Diego Costa, who’s been awful...
But imagine what having some real competition from a top-drawer centre-forward would do for him. That’s why I think they have got to go for Harry Kane.
Chelsea can’t sign Jamie Vardy. He’s 28. He’s done great this season but he’s not a Chelsea player.
But Kane would be a perfect fit. He’s big and strong, he scores goals and he’s got a football brain. He would fit right in at Chelsea."
Stop that GIF now. It's fucking brilliant. I am sat here at my desk giggling it's that good.
"This will be a brilliant game. I watched Everton play Leicester and get beat, watched them play Stoke and get beat. They conceded seven goals in those games, shipping goals, but I think they'll win this one.
I haven't been going against Tottenham recently, but I think Everton will come out on top in a high-scoring encounter.
They've got to keep it a little bit tighter, but I see this being a thriller. Both teams only play one way really, and I think they both have firepower to hurt each other. I've watched Everton enough this season to know that if they click, they can go on a big run. 3-2 for Everton."
Well, it's not clicking you dickhead.
I haven't been going against Tottenham recently, but I think Everton will come out on top in a high-scoring encounter.
They've got to keep it a little bit tighter, but I see this being a thriller. Both teams only play one way really, and I think they both have firepower to hurt each other. I've watched Everton enough this season to know that if they click, they can go on a big run. 3-2 for Everton."
Well, it's not clicking you dickhead.
He could basically if Everton, who has been shipping goals score more than they conceded they will win.
His insight in on a par with the Dali Lama
As if by Magic…
Why thank you, Sky Sports. Thank you for Paul Merson and his ‘Who the Premier League title challengers should buy in the January transfer window…’ F*** it, just thank you for Paul Merson. Without him… etc etc.
On Woolwich:
‘I think they need a defensive midfield player, if I am being honest.’
Well, we do want you to be honest, Paul. Not original, obviously, but honest would be good.
‘I can see the Troy Deeney one happening, I think he is a good footballer and works very hard for the team, so that does not shock me that one…nowadays you can’t say: ‘But will he play a lot?’ As because of these transfer windows, as soon as the window shuts you only need two injuries and you could play every game.’
To Paul Merson, ‘nowadays’ is apparently shorthand for ‘over the last 13 years’.
On Leicester:
‘They have hit a wall if I am being honest…’
Well, we did definitely want you to be honest; we made that clear.
‘So unless you bring in a very experienced player that the players respect, then it could work, but I would not want to bring a big star into the team all of a sudden.’
Sorry, what? Oft-repeated note to the Sky Sports keyboard monkey: DO NOT WRITE DOWN EVERYTHING HE SAYS.
On Manchester City:
‘So for me they need to bring a forward in, but the problem for Man City is they have got all the money in the world. So if you are going to bring a centre-forward in for £30m-£40m, you have got to tell that player they are not playing, because Aguero is playing.’
But we thought that ‘nowadays you can’t say: ‘But will he play a lot?’ As because of these transfer windows, as soon as the window shuts you only need two injuries and you could play every game.”? Have we misunderstood?
On Tottenham:
‘So again with the Tottenham thing, it looks like an unbelievable team spirit there.’
And that’s an entire paragraph. In a piece about the transfer window. A reminder – should you need one – that it says ‘Football Expert’ at the top of the page.
On Manchester United:
‘They do need a lot and they do not need a lot.’
Come on, Paul, be honest – which is it?
On Liverpool:
‘Liverpool need a goalie, like Jack Butland. As you have seen with Woolwich this year, they have a goalie that is saving them points and not losing them points. If a goalie that you have had over the last six or seven years is losing you six points a season and a goalie comes in and saves you at least six, that is a 12-point turnaround, which is a lot of points.’
Let’s just call it Maths With Merse.
Wonderfully, the fact that Liverpool have no centre-halves seems to have entirely escaped this ‘expert’.
On Chelsea:
‘I still think they need a centre-forward. If Costa does not play, would Falcao get in anybody’s team? No. Would Loic Remy get in anybody’s team? Maybe a bottom-half team, but we are talking about Chelsea here.’
That’s Chelsea who are currently 14th. And really should not be mentioned in any piece about ‘Premier League title challengers’.
Other than all that, it’s an invaluable guide. If we’re not being honest.
Mediawatch: How will 'bitter infighting' end? - Football365
Yes, he is talking about Chelsea there, who are a bottom half side with half the season gone.
