There is zero evidence that we are. All people point to is results without looking at what actually happened in the games. They just attribute it softness or Spursy because it is easier that actually assessing what happened.
You know how many teams won on hard work and "attitude" zero? Teams win with talent.
A team full of Keanes is whipped by a team full of Beckhams.
If you think winning a trophy will change anything you are crazy. The only thing that changes anything is talent.
If we bring in Mbappe, Neymar, Ederson, Haaland, KDB, VVD, Dias, Kante our hardness won't improve but we likely win because our talent is so much better.
You ask where's the evidence as though you have been asleep for years.
The number of occasions is like a list of pain from the 3-4 loss to City in the FA Cup when we were 3 up and playing 10 men through to United beating us 3-5 after being 3-up and more recently losing a 2 goal lead in the Europa.
We need to find a way not to collapse when all we need is the resolve to see it through, so when we fall short it can only be mentality.