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Bale Madrid... it's Real!

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I am so bored of spending my days wondering if a millionaire 7 years my junior is going to get a better job.
I mean what are we even doing here?

I just want it to be over. He's not cunted us off in the process so I respect him for that, but I've definitely gone beyond the point of caring what happens either way a long time ago. It's win win for us.
 
A page on Facebook asked: "What is your best memory of being a football fan?" I replied with this:

1st September 2013. It’s Woolwich 2-2 Tottenham, as the game heads towards stoppage time. Play has been stopped with Roberto Soldado winning a free-kick after being crashed into by the ever-growing angrier Jack Wilshere. André Villas-Boas signals towards the bench, from which a shadowy figure emerges. The 4th official holds aloft the substitution board. The number 21 of Nacer Chadli is lit up in red on the board, before being replaced by the green number 11 of the man to replace the Belgian. Chadli jogs off the pitch, giving a hug to the man who holds the hopes of millions of Spurs fans everywhere.

After placing the ball 30 yards from goal, Gylfi Sigurðsson moves aside as Gareth Bale steps up. The Welshman takes five steps backward, before taking a decisive look at the trembling figure of Wojciech Szczesny in the Woolwich goal. The referee’s whistle cuts through the noise of the anxious crowd, silence falling as Bale strides towards destiny. A swing of the left boot. A rustle as the ball strikes the back of the net, before nestling behind Szczesny’s frozen, disbelieving figure. Then a small section of the arena, holding thousands of men, women and children in Lilywhite shirts, erupts. Arms held high, mouth wide, Tottenham’s saviour glides towards the packed away end, his teammates chasing him in a frenzy of victorious fists and leaps of joy. Bale proudly stands in front of his adoring fans and lifts his number 11 shirt to reveal an undershirt with the words: “Born to play for Spurs” crudely scribbled on with a permanent marker.

Meanwhile, Villas-Boas has run off down the tunnel in crazed celebration, whilst his assistant, Steffen Freund, has pinned Arsène Wenger to the floor, rubbing his crotch up and down the old Frenchman’s wrinkled face. Stewards watch on in disbelief, unknowing in how to act to this bizarre situation. As the mad celebrations continue on and off the pitch, across North London, Britain and the world, one man stands in an executive box of the Emirates Stadium. The warm light of the sun catches the man’s bald head. Daniel Levy slips the thin frame of his glasses over his ears. The corner of his mouth subtly curls into the hint of a smile. He turns without taking a glance at the stone-faced representatives of the losing side, before disappearing into the depths of the arena…

…and then I woke up…

I want to buy you beer and hug you.
 
By the way. I like how we are all resigned to losing Bale. But when that "Madrid fan" came along it went defensive and it turned into "we should never sell to you" "your info is shite". Spursy!!
 
Breaking news - Messi gets Bale to sign :leaveityeah:

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When all is said and done about this transfer, we can all be happy that Daniel Levy is the chairman of this club and has balls the size of fucking boulders. What a man - if we manage to get £85-£95 million for Bale then he is a fucking business genius. He is the same age as Ronaldo was when he moved to Spain, but even though the market has inflated since then he has got an extortionate fee out of Real for the Welshman.

Daniel Levy, what a man. I want to kiss his little egg head
 
If deal is not announced today (Saturday) then there's another twist to come. Mark my words.
They will loan him back to us and pay his wages for the season? No. They will release Ronaldo and we get first dibs. Wait. Its part of the deal that Bale has to play wearing boots make of led. Nahh. Madrid have to change their logo to the Spurs badge.

I ran out of stupid shit to say.

Spursy....
 
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