Since many of the clubs will be owned by beheaders and tortures maybe we can bring back gladiatorial combat.
The new White Hart Lane would be perfect and then no-one can say the sportsman haven’t earned their money risking quiet literally life and limb for their pay check.
A big cheer as Piers Morgan gets taken to the Guillotine to warm up the crowd. King Salman the great then kicks off the battles and gets to decided whether the defeated gets to keep their heads. A festival to celebrate the premier league and its moral standing in the world.