As if by Magic…
Why thank you, Sky Sports. Thank you for Paul Merson and his ‘Who the Premier League title challengers should buy in the January transfer window…’ F*** it, just thank you for Paul Merson. Without him… etc etc.
On Woolwich:
‘I think they need a defensive midfield player, if I am being honest.’
Well, we do want you to be honest, Paul. Not original, obviously, but honest would be good.
‘I can see the Troy Deeney one happening, I think he is a good footballer and works very hard for the team, so that does not shock me that one…nowadays you can’t say: ‘But will he play a lot?’ As because of these transfer windows, as soon as the window shuts you only need two injuries and you could play every game.’
To Paul Merson, ‘nowadays’ is apparently shorthand for ‘over the last 13 years’.
On Leicester:
‘They have hit a wall if I am being honest…’
Well, we did definitely want you to be honest; we made that clear.
‘So unless you bring in a very experienced player that the players respect, then it could work, but I would not want to bring a big star into the team all of a sudden.’
Sorry, what? Oft-repeated note to the Sky Sports keyboard monkey: DO NOT WRITE DOWN EVERYTHING HE SAYS.
On Manchester City:
‘So for me they need to bring a forward in, but the problem for Man City is they have got all the money in the world. So if you are going to bring a centre-forward in for £30m-£40m, you have got to tell that player they are not playing, because Aguero is playing.’
But we thought that ‘nowadays you can’t say: ‘But will he play a lot?’ As because of these transfer windows, as soon as the window shuts you only need two injuries and you could play every game.”? Have we misunderstood?
On Tottenham:
‘So again with the Tottenham thing, it looks like an unbelievable team spirit there.’
And that’s an entire paragraph. In a piece about the transfer window. A reminder – should you need one – that it says ‘Football Expert’ at the top of the page.
On Manchester United:
‘They do need a lot and they do not need a lot.’
Come on, Paul, be honest – which is it?
On Liverpool:
‘Liverpool need a goalie, like Jack Butland. As you have seen with Woolwich this year, they have a goalie that is saving them points and not losing them points. If a goalie that you have had over the last six or seven years is losing you six points a season and a goalie comes in and saves you at least six, that is a 12-point turnaround, which is a lot of points.’
Let’s just call it Maths With Merse.
Wonderfully, the fact that Liverpool have no centre-halves seems to have entirely escaped this ‘expert’.
On Chelsea:
‘I still think they need a centre-forward. If Costa does not play, would Falcao get in anybody’s team? No. Would Loic Remy get in anybody’s team? Maybe a bottom-half team, but we are talking about Chelsea here.’
That’s Chelsea who are currently 14th. And really should not be mentioned in any piece about ‘Premier League title challengers’.
Other than all that, it’s an invaluable guide. If we’re not being honest.
Mediawatch: How will 'bitter infighting' end? - Football365
This junkie gets paid for his football wisdom.... the world has gone mad.
