Summer 2022 Transfer Thread.

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"Eriksen wants to remain in London but also wants to join Manchester United despite rejecting them"

Yeah, that makes perfect sense.

Fuck's sake, if you're so sad that you need to make up bollocks on the internet to give your life some semblance of worth, at least try to make it minimally coherent.

no-but-yeah.gif
 
"Eriksen wants to remain in London but also wants to join Manchester United despite rejecting them"

Yeah, that makes perfect sense.

Fuck's sake, if you're so sad that you need to make up bollocks on the internet to give your life some semblance of worth, at least try to make it minimally coherent.

no-but-yeah.gif




It’s a parody tweet mate. Flew right over your head that one.
 
Raphinha v Richarlison v Jesus is interesting.

They’ve posted similar GA states in the last few years:

  • Jesus has 29 GA in 57 matches for by far the best team.
  • Raphinha has 29 GA in 65 matches for the worst team.
  • Richarlison has 25 GA in 64 matches.
Then positionally (in my opinion):
  • Jesus has switched between wide and middle the most seamlessly.
  • Richarlison is the most physical and would suit coming in for Kane the most.
  • Raphinha is the most skilful and able to make things happen from the wing.
They were all born within 6 months of one another, with Raphinha the oldest (December 1996) and Richarlison the youngest (May 1997).

Then you look at our needs:

We have an amazing front 3. Beyond that, we have:

  • Lucas, a decent but inconsistent player who in his 4 full seasons has averaged just over 8 GA per session. Primarily right wing but can play down the middle.
  • Bergwijn, who is 5 years’ Lucas’s junior but posts even worse figures and, while potentially being good enough, wants to leave. Princely left wing but more physicality to play down the middle.
  • Gil, who is the youngest of these 3, seems exciting, has had a good loan but is pretty much untested in this league. Definitely only suitable out wide .
  • Parrott, who finished the session very strongly for loan club and country, but odd tested at the lowest level so far, and is a year younger. Built to play down the middle but has also looked comfortably wide due to his pace and comfort on the ball.
  • Scarlett, to this point we’ve seen very little and he’s by far the youngest but is rated extremely highly. Only seems to be talked about as an out and out striker.
So in terms of experienced players, we have much more experience and depth out side, but our two biggest prospects are down the middle. We also have to consider, however, that Son is better down the middle than pretty much and career striker we could possibly attract, and definitely Richarlison/ Jesus.

I’m inclined to suggest that bringing in Raphinha of the 3, who is probably the best player (certainly the most exciting) and in my view the only one with potential to make himself a first choice, would be the best solution. Yes, we don’t have a direct HK replacement but Son’s versatility and the fact that he’s genuinely good enough for our front line, unlike the other two in my opinion, mitigates that, besides the fact that he’sa maybe upgrade on both Lucas and Bergwijn.

That said, all three massively upgrade our depth up front so if we could get any of them in, and then replace Bergwijn with either Gil back from his loan or another wide player for similar cost to whatever he fetches, we’d be in a strong position. I also think now is the time to see if Parrott can push his way in. 5 goals and an assist for MK in the last 10 league matches, with all the goals coming when starting out wide, is promising (the assist can’ came from playing CF).

If our forward options were:

  • Kane
  • Son
  • Kulusevski
  • Raphinha/ Richarlison/ Jesus
  • Lucas
  • Bergwijn replacement/ Gil
  • Parrott

We’d be in good shape.
 
Why do people think Richarlison is anymore physical than the likes of Son or Kulu?
He almost dies every single time he ever gets touched.
He's 1cm or, for us old timers, less than half an inch taller than Son, if it's his height that makes you think he's "physical"

I admit I haven't watched every game he's played, but when I have seen him, he goes down quicker than £10 hoe
 
5 attackers for 3 spots
4cms for 2 spots
5 wbs for 2 spots
5 cbs for 3 spots
3 gks
= 22 players

2 free spots left, unless we solve the club trained riddle?

Eriksen and Tanganga would fill it out nicely, though Japh really does need a full season loan somewhere.
Like the idea of Tanganga going to Bournemouth. Presumably he’s got a relationship with Parker from his time in the yoof set up.
 
Why do people think Richarlison is anymore physical than the likes of Son or Kulu?
He almost dies every single time he ever gets touched.
He's 1cm or, for us old timers, less than half an inch taller than Son, if it's his height that makes you think he's "physical"

I admit I haven't watched every game he's played, but when I have seen him, he goes down quicker than £10 hoe

Drogba goes down when an ant touches him, Richarlison loves the dark arts of football, he is a prick but he would be our prick, a Diego Costa who can also play wing. You would probably be better asking the EvertonFan on the forum but he is not physically weak by any means he is aggressive and a fighter.
 
"Eriksen wants to remain in London but also wants to join Manchester United despite rejecting them"

Yeah, that makes perfect sense.

Fuck's sake, if you're so sad that you need to make up bollocks on the internet to give your life some semblance of worth, at least try to make it minimally coherent.

no-but-yeah.gif
I really want to point out the obvious that it is satire, but then a tiny bit of me is unsure if your post is a satirical response to the obvious satire, is this Satireception?
 
Why do people think Richarlison is anymore physical than the likes of Son or Kulu?
He almost dies every single time he ever gets touched.
He's 1cm or, for us old timers, less than half an inch taller than Son, if it's his height that makes you think he's "physical"

I admit I haven't watched every game he's played, but when I have seen him, he goes down quicker than £10 hoe
Have you tried B&Q mate? The hoes there are pretty durable. You'd not get much change out of a 20 note though. Just a suggestion
 
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