Nowadays you could offer them a bag of Columbian confetti.When I worked the Friday late shift in KFC in the 1970s the owner was a bit of a drinker so it was just me (16) and a Chinese illegal (who slept under the counter) running the shop. One night the owner went off without leaving us the key for the freezer with the chips in. There is nothing more scary than telling drunk people at 2am they can't have chips with their chicken. It was worse than Millwall away.
If only it were 2021 I could have offered them tofu as a substitute.