Gylfi Sigurðsson

[CollyQC]

On the contrary, if you look at actual statistics of cases vs population, it becomes clear how few men actually do this (sexual crimes). Something like less than 2%, which means upwards of 98% are not an issue.

2% of 3.5 billion is 70 million. 70 million is not a small number. And that only includes men involved with cases, most never get reported. This figure also doesn't take into account the amount of victims. One male could have multiple victims.
I'm my opinion, the 2% you've mentioned is scary enough and is likely to only be a small snapshot of the reality

 

[Matt1882]

I started work at 15 and had many older women making lewd comments to me.

Office banter?
What would have happened if I played along, would they have taken things further?
What would happen if I was a 15 year old girl and they were men?

It used to make me feel uncomfortable back then but never really thought much of it. But I've not doubt a lot of this behaviour stems from peope needing their ego to be massaged from time to time.
Say you're a mid 30s man or woman who feels like you're getting too old to be interesting/attractive and an 18 year old maybe flirts a bit. Immediately you're gonna feel a little bit egotistic that it happened. Especially if you're either single or your relationship isn't very fulfilling.

Ramp that scenario up to you being very wealthy, and there being a LOT of people often trying to get in with you.
Then throw in some girls who look older than they are and happily tell you they're older than they are.

I mean, the simple answer is stay the fuck away from people who say they're 10 years younger than you anyway. I'm 40, I doubt I could keep up with a 30 year old or want to. If I was 30 I doubt I'd even like a 20 year old and then there's the fear she ain't 20, she's 15 with a lot of makeup on ..

 

[Matt1882]

I don't think this is even in the same ball park.

I'm not saying it happens as frequently, just that it does happen and when it does happen, nowhere near as often does it get found out and escalated.

 

[docomospur]

2% of 3.5 billion is 70 million. 70 million is not a small number. And that only includes men involved with cases, most never get reported. This figure also doesn't take into account the amount of victims. One male could have multiple victims.
I'm my opinion, the 2% you've mentioned is scary enough and is likely to only be a small snapshot of the reality

I was in the midst of typing something similar to this. I recognise such numbers reflect individual perspective (what is low, what is high) but 2% looks high to me personally. To put in the UK's context, there would be 1.34 million men with reported transgressions.

 

[Datzlo]

Men are just predisposed to predatory behavior.

No, we're not. As noted above the actual frequency of such abuses is tiny when weighed against the size of the population, and women can be just as predatory. A deciding factor is undoubtedly physical size, which skews the numbers in terms of who might actually succeed in victimizing someone else.

Societally, we've definitely sexuality as conquest for men in general and from puberty (or even before) its basically viewed as a race amongst boys to lose their virginity.

That's broadly true but not really problematic, as it is also reflective of differences in physiology and hormonal influences. Due to the nature of sexual reproduction it is women who suffer the consequences of sexual coupling (i.e. pregnancy), and young men feel quite natural compunctions to sow their oats, so to speak. This difference in outcome is quite drastic, and is ultimately the root of all our gender roles.

There's a tendency among some people to believe that gender, and therefore roles or attitudes associated with gender are nothing more than social constructs. However they frequently forget that gender is derived from sex, and human beings exhibit a fairly notable amount of sexual dimorphism (i.e. physical differences between the sexes). Men truly are, in general, bigger and stronger, women are generally more skilled at multitasking and social interaction, and when a man and a woman have sex, it is the female who is saddled with a 9-month long physical condition that grows steadily more incapacitating as it builds towards labor.

As a result, it's not exactly a surprise that rape is so terrifying and traumatic to women. Not only is it a loss of their agency, but also a loss of control over their own fertility. In today's world we have widespread contraception, and many of us are supportive of abortion, so victims of this crime might not suffer the full extent that pre-modern women would have, but we are an evolved animal and the echoes of this primal fear are still present within the psyche.

It's not 'patriarchy' which drives this. It's not a mass conspiracy of misogyny which produces different attitudes regarding male and female promiscuity, and in fact is is that women consider THEIR sexual potential to be so precious that the prevalent behaviors we see have developed. Simply put, because both men and women see female sexuality as something to be earned by men, men will continue to chase women and, generally, not the other way around. Men will still be seen in the eyes of many as being successful if they manage to persuade many women to sleep with them, and women will be viewed by many as devalued if they are easily persuaded to give away their 'precious' attribute. It's not born of misogynistic imposition, but instead the patterns of behavior baked into our brains via evolution. That's not to say it is necessary to preserve or anything, but despite decades of feminist pressure to try and reform society to their liking, the patterns persist and even find greatest expression in the most egalitarian societies.

It's really time to stop saying that men are the problem, or are predisposed to predatory behavior. Harvey Weinstein was an incredibly powerful tycoon protected by a corrupt, sick industry. He's not reflective of the 98% of men who never commit sexual assault or rape, and neither is Gylfi Siggurdson if it emerges he is guilty. They are reflective of rich, famous or powerful people who are not used to facing accountability.

We really gotta kick all these shitty notions that still pervade our society.

I agree, and one of the most important ones to get rid of is that boys are slime and snails and puppy dogs tails.

 

[RomanzoCriminale]

I started work at 15 and had many older women making lewd comments to me.

Office banter?
What would have happened if I played along, would they have taken things further?
What would happen if I was a 15 year old girl and they were men?

It used to make me feel uncomfortable back then but never really thought much of it. But I've not doubt a lot of this behaviour stems from peope needing their ego to be massaged from time to time.
Say you're a mid 30s man or woman who feels like you're getting too old to be interesting/attractive and an 18 year old maybe flirts a bit. Immediately you're gonna feel a little bit egotistic that it happened. Especially if you're either single or your relationship isn't very fulfilling.

Ramp that scenario up to you being very wealthy, and there being a LOT of people often trying to get in with you.
Then throw in some girls who look older than they are and happily tell you they're older than they are.

I mean, the simple answer is stay the fuck away from people who say they're 10 years younger than you anyway. I'm 40, I doubt I could keep up with a 30 year old or want to. If I was 30 I doubt I'd even like a 20 year old and then there's the fear she ain't 20, she's 15 with a lot of makeup on ..

Your 40 and you can't keep up with a 30 year old - Are you disabled ?

 

[Datzlo]

I was in the midst of typing something similar to this. I recognise such numbers reflect individual perspective (what is low, what is high) but 2% looks high to me personally. To put in the UK's context, there would be 1.34 million men with reported transgressions.

I realize that you didn't make the statement about 2% being scary enough, but your post quoted the one which did, and I would have to say: is it? Is it truly?

If only 2% of a given group share a certain attribute, is that really an attribute which defines that group, or is the sub-group a statistical outlier?

However alarming one wishes to consider 2% to be, my point is that 'men' are not the problem, and in fact have been looked to historically as the solution as protectors and avengers of wronged or vulnerable women.

 

[docomospur]

I realize that you didn't make the statement about 2% being scary enough, but your post quoted the one which did, and I would have to say: is it? Is it truly?

If only 2% of a given group share a certain attribute, is that really an attribute which defines that group, or is the sub-group a statistical outlier?

However alarming one wishes to consider 2% to be, my point is that 'men' are not the problem, and in fact have been looked to historically as the solution as protectors and avengers of wronged or vulnerable women.

Yes, I find that 2% concerning, but it's not my point that that sub-group defines the larger one. If anything, I would hope the other 98% recognise that it is an issue of real concern, and all that we can do about it, whether it's awareness, ensuring responsibility, etc, is important.

 

[Datzlo]

Yes, I find that 2% concerning, but it's not my point that that sub-group defines the larger one. If anything, I would hope the other 98% recognise that it is an issue of real concern, and all that we can do about it, whether it's awareness, ensuring responsibility, etc, is important.

What do you expect them to do which is not already being done? Boys are drilled their whole lives with the idea that rape, for instance, is an abhorrent act which is never okay. It is a crime punished intensely by our criminal justice systems.

Is it the responsibility of some men to police other men? I mean, that's the exact same logic used to justify all manner of bigotries.

As it happens, thankfully instances of rape are actually on the decline already and have been for decades. Some even suggest that porn and other sexualized media is responsible for this as a new pressure valve for sexual frustration.

 

[CollyQC]

I realize that you didn't make the statement about 2% being scary enough, but your post quoted the one which did, and I would have to say: is it? Is it truly?

If only 2% of a given group share a certain attribute, is that really an attribute which defines that group, or is the sub-group a statistical outlier?

However alarming one wishes to consider 2% to be, my point is that 'men' are not the problem, and in fact have been looked to historically as the solution as protectors and avengers of wronged or vulnerable women.

Obviously not all men are a problem and I know it can be frustrating to have all males tarnished by these figures. But 2% should not be dismissed as relatively small number. That is akin to every single person in the UK being a male accused of a sexual offence and then releasing them into the wider world. That is a LOT of people. Again, this figure doesn't include unreported cases(which are always high) and victims per case(could be one, could be multiple)

 

[ArcspacE]

So is he a paedo or not - cannot find any recent news

 

[Matt1882]

Your 40 and you can't keep up with a 30 year old - Are you disabled ?

Old beyond my years. The idea of late night drinking bores me.

 

[docomospur]

What do you expect them to do which is not already being done? Boys are drilled their whole lives with the idea that rape, for instance, is an abhorrent act which is never okay. It is a crime punished intensely by our criminal justice systems.

Is it the responsibility of some men to police other men? I mean, that's the exact same logic used to justify all manner of bigotries.

As it happens, thankfully instances of rape are actually on the decline already and have been for decades. Some even suggest that porn and other sexualized media is responsible for this as a new pressure valve for sexual frustration.

For one thing, I feel raising awareness is something we could probably do more of. I know of some universities in the US that have introduced specific programmes to engage incoming cohorts, for both the general student population as well as certain groups, like athletic teams, where group engagement and support can make a difference.

Is it the responsibility of some men to police other men? I think police is a strong word to use, but yes, I think we should bear some responsibility for the actions of others. If someone sees a potential situation developing, e.g. someone who's behaving aggressively under the influence of alcohol, I would hope he steps in or gets help.

It's encouraging to hear that the statistics on rape are trending in the right direction. In my opinion, we need to continue to confront the issue with the seriousness it warrants.

 

[RomanzoCriminale]

Old beyond my years. The idea of late night drinking bores me.

I can't ever see the day when i will want to give up like that and i don't mean that in a disrespectful way, each to their own. I have a family, wife, great job etc, but need to have that 1 night out a week where i get some rock n roll..... never been one for nightclubs (other than back in the ravey days), but just love the vibe of being out in scruffy alt/dive bars, being around people, good music etc. My wife is 12 years younger than me, but she might say she struggles to keep up with me sometimes, but i am someone who always has bundles of energy...... just not right now with Covid ofc.....

 

[Neumanator]

Entire Iceland FA board resigns after sexual abuse claim

The whole board of the IFA has resigned after trying to cover up a complaint of sexual abuse against a national team player

www.theguardian.com

 

[Shotgunofmichalebrow]

On the contrary, if you look at actual statistics of cases vs population, it becomes clear how few men actually do this (sexual crimes). Something like less than 2%, which means upwards of 98% are not an issue.

The statistics on the conviction of rape cases/sexual assault are part of pattern of societies denial of the scale of the problem.

 

[MemphisWill]

No, we're not. As noted above the actual frequency of such abuses is tiny when weighed against the size of the population, and women can be just as predatory. A deciding factor is undoubtedly physical size, which skews the numbers in terms of who might actually succeed in victimizing someone else.


That's broadly true but not really problematic, as it is also reflective of differences in physiology and hormonal influences. Due to the nature of sexual reproduction it is women who suffer the consequences of sexual coupling (i.e. pregnancy), and young men feel quite natural compunctions to sow their oats, so to speak. This difference in outcome is quite drastic, and is ultimately the root of all our gender roles.

There's a tendency among some people to believe that gender, and therefore roles or attitudes associated with gender are nothing more than social constructs. However they frequently forget that gender is derived from sex, and human beings exhibit a fairly notable amount of sexual dimorphism (i.e. physical differences between the sexes). Men truly are, in general, bigger and stronger, women are generally more skilled at multitasking and social interaction, and when a man and a woman have sex, it is the female who is saddled with a 9-month long physical condition that grows steadily more incapacitating as it builds towards labor.

As a result, it's not exactly a surprise that rape is so terrifying and traumatic to women. Not only is it a loss of their agency, but also a loss of control over their own fertility. In today's world we have widespread contraception, and many of us are supportive of abortion, so victims of this crime might not suffer the full extent that pre-modern women would have, but we are an evolved animal and the echoes of this primal fear are still present within the psyche.

It's not 'patriarchy' which drives this. It's not a mass conspiracy of misogyny which produces different attitudes regarding male and female promiscuity, and in fact is is that women consider THEIR sexual potential to be so precious that the prevalent behaviors we see have developed. Simply put, because both men and women see female sexuality as something to be earned by men, men will continue to chase women and, generally, not the other way around. Men will still be seen in the eyes of many as being successful if they manage to persuade many women to sleep with them, and women will be viewed by many as devalued if they are easily persuaded to give away their 'precious' attribute. It's not born of misogynistic imposition, but instead the patterns of behavior baked into our brains via evolution. That's not to say it is necessary to preserve or anything, but despite decades of feminist pressure to try and reform society to their liking, the patterns persist and even find greatest expression in the most egalitarian societies.

It's really time to stop saying that men are the problem, or are predisposed to predatory behavior. Harvey Weinstein was an incredibly powerful tycoon protected by a corrupt, sick industry. He's not reflective of the 98% of men who never commit sexual assault or rape, and neither is Gylfi Siggurdson if it emerges he is guilty. They are reflective of rich, famous or powerful people who are not used to facing accountability.



I agree, and one of the most important ones to get rid of is that boys are slime and snails and puppy dogs tails.

I respect the effort you've put into reasoning your point, but you're completely off base. It doesn't take 20% of the population to prove a statistical predisposition.

2% is absolutely proof of men being predisposed to predatory behavior - the key word being predatory, thats not limited to sexual abuse. Men commit all crimes at higher rates than women. Men commit all violent acts at higher rates than women. Men hunt for sport in greater numbers than women. These are all predatory traits. If 1 in 50 men were committing armed robbery, much less murder, it would be a massive societal issue. But as its just sexual assault we're talking about, where's the rug to sweep this under?

As far as sexual dimorphism goes, human beings are pretty mild actually. Size differences are a standard trait in most species, not always males being larger but there's almost always a difference.

Regarding our sexuality and the trauma that stems from rape, it is absolutely due to societal constructs of sex and the cultural views of a woman's sexuality as transferrable property. Its a key factor why ~30% of sexual assaults are reported by women. Read that again. Approximately 70% of sexual assaults are not reported.

25% of women are the victims of sexual abuse. 1 in 4. To pretend that sexual predation and abuse isn't a problem in our society, and/or that we don't need sweeping changes to the cultural norms that create your 2% statistic is just preposterous.

Sorry, but I'm not going to listen to your "its just 2%, most guys are good, there's nothing wrong here, stop picking on the boys" nonsense. I know several women very close to me that have been sexually abused. And the sad fact of the matter is so do you, whether you know about it or not.

 

[CollyQC]

I respect the effort you've put into reasoning your point, but you're completely off base. It doesn't take 20% of the population to prove a statistical predisposition.

2% is absolutely proof of men being predisposed to predatory behavior - the key word being predatory, thats not limited to sexual abuse. Men commit all crimes at higher rates than women. Men commit all violent acts at higher rates than women. Men hunt for sport in greater numbers than women. These are all predatory traits. If 1 in 50 men were committing armed robbery, much less murder, it would be a massive societal issue. But as its just sexual assault we're talking about, where's the rug to sweep this under?

As far as sexual dimorphism goes, human beings are pretty mild actually. Size differences are a standard trait in most species, not always males being larger but there's almost always a difference.

Regarding our sexuality and the trauma that stems from rape, it is absolutely due to societal constructs of sex and the cultural views of a woman's sexuality as transferrable property. Its a key factor why ~30% of sexual assaults are reported by women. Read that again. Approximately 70% of sexual assaults are not reported.

25% of women are the victims of sexual abuse. 1 in 4. To pretend that sexual predation and abuse isn't a problem in our society, and/or that we don't need sweeping changes to the cultural norms that create your 2% statistic is just preposterous.

Sorry, but I'm not going to listen to your "its just 2%, most guys are good, there's nothing wrong here, stop picking on the boys" nonsense. I know several women very close to me that have been sexually abused. And the sad fact of the matter is so do you, whether you know about it or not.

Better education on alcohol and drug misuse could help. Many sexual abuse crimes are committed while people are off their heads or pissed senseless. The casual and regular misuse of alcohol is a major problem that society hasn't really tackled.

 

[Dr Rocktopus]

I respect the effort you've put into reasoning your point, but you're completely off base. It doesn't take 20% of the population to prove a statistical predisposition.

2% is absolutely proof of men being predisposed to predatory behavior - the key word being predatory, thats not limited to sexual abuse. Men commit all crimes at higher rates than women. Men commit all violent acts at higher rates than women. Men hunt for sport in greater numbers than women. These are all predatory traits. If 1 in 50 men were committing armed robbery, much less murder, it would be a massive societal issue. But as its just sexual assault we're talking about, where's the rug to sweep this under?

As far as sexual dimorphism goes, human beings are pretty mild actually. Size differences are a standard trait in most species, not always males being larger but there's almost always a difference.

Regarding our sexuality and the trauma that stems from rape, it is absolutely due to societal constructs of sex and the cultural views of a woman's sexuality as transferrable property. Its a key factor why ~30% of sexual assaults are reported by women. Read that again. Approximately 70% of sexual assaults are not reported.

25% of women are the victims of sexual abuse. 1 in 4. To pretend that sexual predation and abuse isn't a problem in our society, and/or that we don't need sweeping changes to the cultural norms that create your 2% statistic is just preposterous.

Sorry, but I'm not going to listen to your "its just 2%, most guys are good, there's nothing wrong here, stop picking on the boys" nonsense. I know several women very close to me that have been sexually abused. And the sad fact of the matter is so do you, whether you know about it or not.

I wouldn't waste your time with that troll.

 

[NorseYid]

25% of women are the victims of sexual abuse. 1 in 4. To pretend that sexual predation and abuse isn't a problem in our society, and/or that we don't need sweeping changes to the cultural norms that create your 2% statistic is just preposterous.

I agree, but solving it touches so many bitter pills to be swallowed.

Firstly the cultural slutshaming. Secondly the operational methodics of police investigations and court case flows.

... and thirdly, having the guts to start talking about who are all these groups of men commiting abuse. Some very uncomfortable pills there, on all ends of the political spectrum.

Sorry, but I'm not going to listen to your "its just 2%, most guys are good, there's nothing wrong here, stop picking on the boys" nonsense. I know several women very close to me that have been sexually abused. And the sad fact of the matter is so do you, whether you know about it or not.

Out of interest, why not exactly?

That's what we do in society with groups of people, who are vastly more overrepresented in crimes. Straight up talking about the mere allegation as a hate-crime in itself.