Tottenham Hotspur v West Ham; Sunday 18th October; 16:30

In the last 40 matches between the two sides (all competitions) they have won 10.

If anyone is unsure about quite how terrible we were in the 1990s, in the four seasons between 1995-96 & 1998-1999 we played them 10 times and only won twice to their six victories, Let that sink in for a minute.

Glastonbury tip: Opiates aid constipation. :freund:

I have a story about being at Glasto and needing a shit whilst tripping...

I’d just dropped a couple of microdots and all fine and dandy, feeling great, and then I think to myself I haven’t had a shit since I arrived and it’s been two days. Fucking great, now that thought is in my head, eating away at me.

So I’m walking along with my mates going wherever the fuck we were going high as kites, and I’m like boys, hold up, I need a shit. I start to feel a turtle head in my pants and quickly become anxious. Shit, I need a shit.

Luckily there are some toilets nearby, you know, the stinky ones with the metal green doors lined up in rows where you can see people’s feet as they curl one out. So I go in a cubicle and fuck me, what a nightmare... scary enough when you’re sober as a judge, never mind being in a hallucinogenic state. I whip my pants down - thank fuck, no turtle head; it was just my imagination.

So I take a dump, again not pleasant due to my mental state at the time, wipe up and meet back up with my mates. And then it comes back, that little gremlin telling me I need a shit, quick have a shit, you can feel the shit coming out of your arse and filling up your pants. I had to proper focus to get the thought out of my head and tell myself you don’t need a shit, you just had one.

We ended up going to the Avalon tent to see The Proclaimers and they were fucking amazing.

The moral of the story is: when you’re at Glasto and about to do acid, make sure you’ve had a nice big shit first. I came close to having a bad trip or maybe even worse...
So I am absolutely buzzing for today's game, making lamb with spiced gravy for lunch, staying in my pj's all day and locking the door, not that there are any visitors anyway due to the lock downs here in Reykjavik.

Anyway, from my observations and perspective of an outsider I have noticed something on this forum.
My favourite reads are the "matches" forums from previous games while waiting for the match to start.....

.....and you guys are absolutely brutal with the players when they make mistakes, then if the player/s redeem themselves, they are absolutely worshipped, like it never happened. Total roller coaster ride of written emotions. Back and forth for 90 minutes. Then either its jubilation if Spurs win, or calling for sacking of players/managers if we lose.......then all is forgotten until the next game, rinse repeat. Its like watching a Jekyll and Hyde show.

I guess you guys call it passion, I'm still not sure what to make of it to be honest.o_O😁 It's been most addictive reading the matches forums.
Any more motivation boys ? Let’s look at their shit hole forum KUMb and match thread :)

“It’s just so sad that in all these years their fans have never changed and are still complete.

They still talk as if they’re big time, they still talk about winning trophies, they still talk as if they’re title contenders. It’s just really sad.

There is no fan base like them. No one comes close.”

Their match thread is amazing. Most people predicting a five or six goal victory. Couldn’t see a single person saying it would be a tough game.

Also hilarious: they care so little about West Ham that they have an 800 page thread dedicated to us.


“I love how much they love talking about how irrelevant we are

They're obsessed.

Kane and Son the "best attacking duo in the league"

They're deluded and obsessed!”

A West Ham fan calling us deluded ? Oh the irony 😂😂 the match thread talking about the fighting cock forum :) we really have hit a nerve. Pikey bastards!!!!



SouthStand Billy

Apparently they have a great record against us.. This is the biggest pile of horse shit in football and nearly as bad as them claiming to have won the World Cup.

In the last 30 games, they have beaten us 8 times and we have beaten them 16 times..
If you want to go more recent, in the last 14 games they have beaten us just 4 times, whilst we have won 8, or in the last 6 meetings they have won just once, whilst we have won 4 of those 6 games.
They still claim their greatest achievement in their history is beating us away at the new ground, to put that into context we have won the last 4 on the trot at the banter bowl..

But they have a great recent record against us apparently. :mourpointlaugh:

This proves just how far ahead of them we really are..


Most prolific master of bating
If you can read this, KUMB spies, you're a shithouse club with shithouse fans, a shithouse stadium and shithouse owners.

Nobody in this life or the next will give a flying fuck about your fannypad football club.

Stop pretending to be our rivals. You're not. You're a bit of shit on the end of our shoes. Millwall is your level so get back in your box and shut the fuck up.

I will come over there and gut every last fucking one of ya's.
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